Merry Christmas! Still not dead!

Can you believe I haven't blogged since September? And even that was just to check in.

I'm changing things on this blog. Haven't decided exactly how yet, but I do intend to start blogging more regularly. I've actually got three blog posts in the "editing" stage and I want to put them up fairly quickly, after the new year. My health is more or less back to the normal. I've still got a PICCline in, but it's kind of my new routine now. My only excuse is not having any motivation at all to be creative--that might be caused by the abscess back in May (no joke). I don't really draw anymore either. It's wierd, and annoying, and a little worrying.

I'm also forcing people to register. That blows, I know. Would comment moderation be better? Let me know. I'm so tired of getting spam comments. I'm going to go through all my posts at some point and wipe out all the spam.

I might also just start a brand-new blog and let this one fester away. I'm so far behind in the literature it's stunning, but I need to catch up, and I need to write about this stuff. For me, for you, for my own sanity.

What are your thoughts, dear readers? If anyone even checks this blog anymore, that is. And I don't blame you if you don't!

Seriously, a Month?!

Seriously, it's been over a month.

I never thought I’d make it to the point where I was blogging once a freaking month. Believe me, I’ve considered blogging in the last four weeks, but I was never really motivated to. There was no paleo story that got me revved up, no gaming news that made me sweat, and here’s the other thing: I haven’t really drawn anything in just as long. So we begin today with a consideration that When Pigs Fly Returns might close up shop soon. Maybe it’s the aftermath of the brain infection, but I am just NOT feeling the writing bug anymore. I assume you have to work at it; drawing, too, but right now there is nothing I’d rather do less than sit down and type out something about Stegosaurus. I spent two weeks—I’m not kidding—writing and re-writing my Wonder Woman figure review over at Dirty Little Figures.

It’s a struggle. My question is whether this disinterest in the creative process is a REAL aftereffect of the brain injury, or merely a temporary setback that will edge its way back into my cranium? I really hope it’s the latter.

Second thing I want to talk about today is my progress. I am off all abscess-specific medications now, though the medications I am on also treat any lingering residuals of the abscess infection. Remember back in March when I had that respiratory infection and ended up with a PICCline IV that only lasted two weeks? Then a few weeks later I was in the ICU with a different PICCline in my (other) arm and that lasted well over a month? Well, funny story: while I was recovering from the abscess, the respiratory infection actually came raging back, faster than before, and now I’m on a third PICCline (in the original arm) that we’re treating with the same antibiotics as we did in March. Hopefully this won’t last more than two weeks, although I’m kind of hoping for three—maybe we didn’t totally kill it off in March/April.

But I definitely needed a re-do. My appetite had fallen off a cliff, I was slowly losing weight, my energy level was just above “lazy sea lion,” and best of all, my lung function tests were declining every week. So getting another IV was certainly A Good Thing. Best of all, the first respiratory infection and the brain abscess made me meet my Out of Pocket Maximum, so assuming there are no insurance kerfuffles (of course there will be), this one is basically free!

So that’s where I’m at. Now I’m going to force myself back into drawing so that I start getting back into the creative groove. My focus? I’m going back to mythological pin-ups. Remember way back when I did the Silk Succubus? That’s the well I’m going back to. I’d had many others planned, including a Harpy, Gorgon, and Siren. I just have to re-learn how to draw…

Lynx & Black-Tailed Deer

I've been gone for awhile. I spent a weekend in Kodiak, but I've been home, just not online. But I have been working on a project: skullifying an animal head. Here's the progress so far. Let's see if you can guess what it is. I'll give hints along the way!


A friend at work gave me the skinned head of a [blank] that he had trapped. He wanted to see what I could do with it. Having already, years ago, did nice skullifications on wolf, deer, and pig heads, I was eager to try my hand at the hobby once more. This is where I'm at. The boiling...the stench...I'm glad it's over.


Obviously, it's an Alaskan animal. Not very big skull, though. There are some structures towards the back of the skull here in ventral view that are dead giveaways.


Big goddamn fangs!


Here's the mandible. Again, big fangs and very reduced dentition. This critter wasn't doing a lot of chewing, but plenty of cutting and slashing. I would not want to be caught in a room with this bugger.


Here's a dorsal view of the mandible, if that helps (probably not).

While in Kodiak last weekend, I found this beauty sitting by the road. At one point, one half was lying in the ground (you'll see) as it was covered in dirt and moss. I've managed to pick most of it off. It's in really gorgeous condition, though.


I know what it is. Do any of you? Again, obviously, Alaskan.


"Why the long face?"


This is the mossy side. It's greener than the other half, but otherwise in the same condition.


As you can see, the only broken bone is the right "prong" process that points downward at the back of the skull. These prongs are helpful in keeping the skull standing up, so with one missing it tends to tip over.

Can't complain too much, though--it's not every day you find a really well-preserved skull just sitting by the side of the road. After the lynx is done (gotta get the brains and sinus tissue out), I've got a big mallard duck in my freezer ready for plucking, skinning, and skeletizing!

"Coming Soon"

Here's another "Coming Soon" post.

Someday soon, perhaps as early as tomorrow, I'm going to set up a sister blog that only covers my figure reviews, and I'm going to re-review all the girls I've already covered, but with better photographs (and largely similar text). The first new review will be Velvet up there. The text isn't done, but the pictures are. Haven't decided on the name yet, but keep an eye out. Most of my writing time has been devoted to Nintendo World Report. I did two articles this week and a third is on the way. Haven't had much time for drawing, unfortunately. I did do a nice sketch of Raphael (the Ninja Turtle) as an old, retired barkeep, though. I should...post that here.

I'm also going to re-color that Velafrons (below) and submit it to the Art Evolved! duckbill gallery. I'm long overdue to get back in the Art Evolved scene. As one of the original members, I feel guilty about falling completely off the map. My eternal excuse: life gets in the way. But expect some more sketches here before too long, including of newly-discovered Daemonosaurus, a toothy horror from New Mexico.

Charles Knight Rises From Grave; Pays Tribue to his Master

Charles R. Knight, history’s second-most influential paleo-artist, rose from his grave in Manhattan today and shambled toward Maryland to pay respect to Gregory S. Paul, recently named the Greatest Paleo-Artist of All Time by an intergalactic committee. Though undead, Knight seemed in good spirits as he dragged his rotting carcass south along the east coast. “I had always thought that I influenced him,” said Knight of Paul, “but it turns out this whole time he was influencing me through some kind of chronological wormhole thought interface that I don’t understand completely.”

Greg Paul recently attacked every working and amateur paleoartist in the world on the Dinosaur Mailing List, essentially calling them parasites who should bow down to him and rely only on his measured, hand-drawn skeletons as reference material while not being careful not to be influenced or inspired by his art. “When I look back at some of my dinosaur restorations, especially things like Leaping Laelaps, it’s hard not to see the GSP influence,” mused Knight while chewing thoughtfully on some poor guy’s brain. “Is this guy a creationist? His frontal lobe is all squishy.” Paul could not be reached for comment, but Metatron did give a press release regarding the event. “It’s about goddamn time,” he said, his angelic voice booming triumphantly.

Metatron shook hands with Knight’s fetid corpse, which instantly turned to ash, vaporized by the awesome holy light emanating from the Voice of Paul. Knight’s ashes swirling helplessly away from the podium, Metatron continued. “Mr. Paul wishes to thank Mr. Knight for making the trip to Maryland and we wish him all the best. We intend to have Mr. Knight’s Allosaurus Feeding on Diplodocus removed from the American Museum of Natural History and replaced by Mr. Paul’s classic and far more accurate Allosaurus fragilis Skeleton in Mid-Stride in Lateral View.”

After the press conference, Metatron ascended back to Heaven and many thought they could see a crazed, paranoid old man peeking out from the closed drapes on the second floor of Mr. Paul’s house. Witnesses also claimed to see a great many cats living in or about the premises. Scott Elyard, a noted Alaskan paleo-artist, added some scope to Mr. Paul’s attacks. “He seems to be irritated that people are using his skeletal drawings as reference material, but then goes out of his way to say that nobody should bother doing their own photographs or measurements because they won’t be nearly as good as his. He’s right, of course.” Where this leads him in his own art, Elyard merely stated, “I’ve given up dinosaurs. Nobody’s as good as His Pauliness, so I’m going into plants instead.”

In addition to his illustrations, Greg Paul is also known for his unique views on dinosaur taxonomy. His recent tome, The Princeton Field Guide to Dinosaurs, completely revised the taxonomy of the ceratopsids, or horned dinosaurs. Where once paleontologists recognized more than half-a-dozen centrosaurine genera, Paul whittled that number down to just one: Centrosaurus. “Well, of course it makes perfect sense,” said Dr. Darren Tanke of the Royal Tyrell Museum of Natural History. “The differences between, say, Styracosaurus and Pachyrhinosaurus are so minor that the average non-specialist would think they were the same animal at first glance.” Asked to elucidate this point, Dr. Tanke continued: “Styracosaurus has a large horn on its nose, but Pachyrhinosaurus doesn’t. Styracosaurus has six elongate spikes on its frill, and Pachyrhinosaurus doesn’t—it only has two short spikes. One species of Pachyrhinosaurus has a sort of unicorn horn in the center of its frill, but Styracosaurus doesn’t. Additionally, Pachyrhinosaurus is almost twice as large as Styracosaurus. So it’s easy to see how the two could be mistaken for one another.”

Greg Paul lives in the Republic of Paulonia in Maryland.

Do Not Adjust Your Internets

Yep, that's me, sportin' a brand-new I.V. After unsuccessfully fighting off a nasty respiratory infection with oral antibiotics for a year and a half, the doc said it's time to just kill it with chemotherapy-strength I.V. antibiotics. Today marks my first full week with my new friend. My arm is connected via medical tubing to a small rectangular pump which shoots me full of one kind of medication three times a day, and another kind of medication once a day. I assume I'll be on this for two full weeks, maybe three depending on how tolerant my arm is of having a tube in it. But I haven't missed any work and I'm definately improving, health-wise. So don't worry, kids, I won't be dead tomorrow. I should be posting some Xenopermian stuff later tonight or tomorrow. Hovasaur vs. baby Walrodont = CARNAGE!

Look out! He's got a Plasma Cutter!

I got the Collector's Edition of Dead Space 2, which, by the way is one of the best games I've played in a long time. This box set came with a small replica (fully functional, as you can see) of Isaac Clark's ever-useful Plasma Cutter, with which our hero dismembers his Necromorph enemies with ease.



So where've I been lately? The answer is "work," where I've become so swamped that the company helpfully hired me an assistant. So between my usual job, training her, and double-checking her work, it's been...busy. On the other hand, I just bought an Xbox 360 from my brother yesterday, so I may yet enjoy the happiness that is Super Meat Boy. I haven't been too caught up on paleo papers, unfortunately. When something big comes down the pipe, like two new iguanodonts or something (that was last year), I try to find time to read it. I haven't drawn anything worthwhile in what seems like forever.

I'll get back on the ball eventually. At least it's lighter now during the day, and that light lasts much longer. Two recommendations before I go: Dead Space 2 (obviously) and "Danger Girl: The Deluxe Edition" published by IDW. It's a nice hardcover collection of that old 90's "Danger Girl" comic drawn by J. Scott Campbell. Really fantastic stuff, very bombastic and lighthearted and action-packed. More to come, I promise!

A Severe Lack of Focus

Winter gets tougher for me every year we live up here. While my mother and wife suffer from varying degrees of SAD (seasonal affective disorder), I just flat become inspired, unable to find the time or effort to passionately engage in just about anything. My paleo research has flatlined--I can't be bothered to keep up on the literature like I know I should. My art has suffered tremendously due to just not practicing (I drew a fairly disgusting little Eodromaeus yesterday; it is not fit for print), and I can't even decide what video game I want to play. Almost nothing is drawing me in.

Two weekends ago, I did become mildly obsessed with a new puzzle (1000 pieces) and completed the whole thing in a big block of time on Sunday, but that was clearly a fluke. The wife is out right now with a friend, and I could be gaming it up or drawing to my heart's content, but neither prospect tickles my fancy. Add to this bout of vapidity an increasingly-stressful job and a longer med routine, and the season's really starting to wear on me.

Hopefully it's just a phase. But it does explain why I've been quiet lately. I leave you with a newish hobby of mine: using Perler beads to create old NES character sprites. From left to right, we have Mario, a Parakoopa, and Mega Man.

2010: It was a bipolar year

Well, 2010 is over and done. I accomplished some things, missed out on others, had some bad points, but some good stuff too. Let's run some of it down.

The year started badly: I'd been layed off from my previous job and January 1st was my first day of unemployment. I spent almost two months without work, but I managed to find gainful employment at a trust & estate firm in downtown Anchorage. The work schedule was pretty tough, the hours were longer, and the pay was a bit of a downgrade. However, I persevered. Three months into that job, I got a call from the people at my current job asking if I wanted to work there. It was not an easy decision, but I eventually said yes. I'm still there now, and I'm loving it.

My friend Erik got married around the same time, and I visited Wisconson for the wedding. It was great fun, and I was able to catch up with my relatives, too. Unfortunately, my four geckos (three leopard, one frog-eyed) began getting sick and dying around this time. By summer's end, all of them would succumb to a nasty, bizarre infection that the vet had NO idea what was. The house remains reptile-free to this day. My next ectotherm will be a small tortoise (someday...).

I didn't attend any conferences this year, but I had fun at home. My wife went to visit Kansas and my family hiked out to Rabbit Lake--where Gina and I were married--for the first time in a few years. I continue to write for Nintendo World Report, and started doing a bi-weekly podcast called the NWR Newscast. Check it out if you haven't already. I also became more serious about figure-collecting. I toned down the buying of DVD's in exchange. That's okay--I have Netflix Instant.

Many times this year I was faced with the threat of IV antibiotics, which is never fun. My doctor suspects I picked up a bug in London last year and it's been haunting me ever since. After three separate treatments with oral antibiotics and a new inhaled medication, we finally managed to get it under control. I'm bumping up against 10 years without an IV, which is a stunning achievement. However, it's clear that I have to be more militant about my health than I ever have been, so 2011 will have to see some changes to my routine. This will probably involve swimming.

It was a good year for gaming. Dragon Quest IX, Picross 3D, God of War 3, Darksiders, Pokemon HeartGold/SoulSilver, Shantae: Risky's Revenge, and Bioshock 2 rocked my world. There were disappointments, too: Kirby's Epic Yarn failed to achieve much beyond being pretty, and Metroid: Other M, a game I'd been excited about since its initial announcement, ended up being pretty sub-par. I actually didn't play much on the Wii that got my blood boiling. I wasn't able to play Super Mario Galaxy 2, but I really enjoyed Trauma Team.

Lots of good paleo news in 2010, especially if you're a ceratopsid fan. My new favorite member of that group, Kosmoceratops, was named not long ago. The oft-delayed ceratopsian volume from Indiana University Press finally saw the light of day and did not disappoint.

Then just last month my friend Nelson got married, too (in town, thank Cthulhu). Lots of weddings in 2010. And from what I hear, my brother-in-law is getting married in January 2011!

The Missus and I just got back from a 10-day trip to Kauai, which was wonderful. Certainly the most fun I've had in that state (and I've been there several times), and I wish we were still there. It's cold and dark in Alaska, but Hawaii is warm and light. There are fewer people. There are beaches and things to poke in tidepools. Alaska is great four, maybe five months a year. The rest of the time it's pretty depressing.

Here's to an awesome 2011!

Guest Post & Status of Self

Hey. I'm in Hawaii, specifically the island of Kauai. So suck on that! Check my Facebook page for daily pictoral updates. Yesterday (our first day here), a sea turtle crawled up on the beach we were on and just took a nap. I got like a foot away from it. 'Twas enjoyable.

Also, I did a guest post for The Fossil Freakshow. Check it out! It's about ceratopsid squamosals! I think it's awesome.

Whoo! And yes, that's me in the picture.

Still alive...just in hibernation

You know what's funny? When I first started blogging (back in 2005 or something), I had a very tight 3-posts-a-week schedule that I followed. I built my schedule around it. Nowadays, that's much harder to keep up. Obviously.

I DO have material on the backburner. It's just that I never get around to finishing any of it.

Keep checking back, folks. I promise I'll get some of this up someday.

People "Don't Get" Pachyrhinosaurus

Not long ago, I was visiting the Alaska Museum of Natural History for reasons that are forgotten to me now. I try not to go over there, in fact. It's an active aversion--every time I get the urge to see "how they're doing," I just remember that my name, Scott's name, and Raven's name are still not anywhere near the big Tyrannosaurus rex skull cast that we restored over a year's time and put our backs into and got NO support and there's NO acknowledgement of our contribution to that particular project. In fact, I doubt our names are anywhere IN the museum, even though all three of us (but mostly Scott and I) have been heavily invested in exhibit prep, tours, etc. in the past.

Makes me mad.

Anyway, the museum's "director," Katch Batchelor, told me that they were getting a Diabloceratops skull cast (this was before that genus was published). She was very excited. I asked why she's wasting the museum's money on a taxon from Utah that lived millions and millions of years before Alaska's Pachyrhinosaurus. In fact, why isn't she getting a Pachyrhinosaurus skull cast? The terrible Fairbanks museum has one. If they can get one, it can't be all that difficult to get ahold of.

Her answer was "People don't 'get' Pachyrhinosaurus." I took this to mean that SHE did not "get" Pachyrhinosaurus. Here's my question: What's to GET?"


There's very little to misunderstand here. Pachyrhinosaurus is a derived member of the Centrosaurinae, which itself is one of the two branches of the Ceratopsidae. The other branch is called the Chasmosaurinae, and it features such well-known taxa as Triceratops, Chasmosaurus (go figure), and Kosmoceratops. The Centrosaurinae is just as diverse, and from there you get good old Centrosaurus, Rubeosaurus, and Diabloceratops. At the upper end of the Centrosaurinae is a monophyletic group of ceratopsids with big nasofrontal bosses instead of horns. They're called pachyrhinosaurines. The group includes two genera comprising three species (Achelousaurus horneri, Pachyrhinosaurus canadensis, and Pachyrhinosaurus lakustai), and several specimens that may represent more distinct species. The group extends from Montana up the west coast of the United States going all the way up to...you guessed it...Alaska's North Slope.

The holotype pachyrhinosaur skull from the Prince Creek Formation on the Colville River is not in great shape, but clearly represents a pachyrhinosaurine.

Right now, the Alaska Museum of Natural History looks more like an odds-and-ends collection of stuff, completely lacking any sort of context or reason for being. When you have a monitor lizard skeleton with an Ornithocheirus skull and a Basilosaurus skull just sitting on the same shelf, but without any sort of text...and in fact, you have a beluga whale skeleton just around the corner, WHAT DOES IT MEAN? And why aren't there any Alaskan dinosaurs? I could go on and on about my misgivings with the AKMNH, but it's useless. They don't even want to use the world "evolution" in fear of scaring people away.

Jesus.

In Which I Apologize for the Lack of Blogging

Update! I have no IV! My tests went up high enough that I'm still not perfect, but certainly better. I'm to finish up the supply of my new meds and then go in again for a final recheck, but I think I'm in the clear. Whoo!

Sooooo....I haven't been blogging a lot lately. The post I threw together yesterday was more of an attempt to keep things going than anything else (also, ceratopsids are awesome). I've got several posts up here in the ol' noggin, but they're not being put on virtual paper for one giant reason:

A recent doctor's visit informed me that my lung function tests (the barometer of a CF patient's health) were down 20%.

Twenty percent. Jesus Christ.

I'd also lost weight. Taken together, these symptoms indicate a bigger problem: a genuine lung infection, my first in eight years. Now, I should mention that last year, when I came back from London, my lung functions were also down quite a bit. My doctor suspected that I picked something up either on the plane or in Britain, but put me on Ciprofloxin and I got better. Six months later, I was back down, though not as much, and I was put back on Ciprofloxin. Last April, I was totally back to normal levels. My weight was up, my tests were great.

Five months later...I get a 20% drop and 3 kilos of lost weight? Ouch.

So my doctor put me on Ciprofloxin again and a new inhaled medication, which isn't so much medication as vaporized seawater (7% saline solution). He gave me a week to get better. A week later, my weight was up a kilo and my lung function tests were up 5%. That's not incredible, but it is progress. He gave me another week, so I'm going in again on Friday evening to see if I'm back to normal, or at least very close to it. If I'm not...well, it's time for a tune-up.

How do you give a CF patient a tune-up? You stick an IV in his or her arm and pump two kinds of medications in there twice a day (Tobramyacine & Ceptazadine) for between two and three weeks. It's more a hassle than anything else, but I wouldn't be surprised if I had to get one. I mean, eight years is a long time between IV's. What's this have to do with blogging? Well, I usually blog in the evenings, after work and chore and errands. Unfortunately, I'm on three different nebulizer-based medications this month: Pulmozyme, Saline, and Tobi. Altogether, it takes a full hour to do these meds, and I do Saline and Tobi twice a day. After my nightly doses, I have to clean and boil the nebulizers for the next day. So my evenings are basically shot for the month of October.

And when I'm not inhaling saltwater, I'm at the office or catching up on shows or games. Or, sometimes, drawing. I do get quite a bit of sketching done during my evening doses. None of it post-worthy, but you get the idea.

So there it is. Wish me luck for Friday, guys. Much as I wouldn't be surprised if it's IV time, it's not exactly fun to get one.

I Have Nooooo Idea

Have you ever sat down to write something, and it just turned into something completely different? This is one of those times.

The Story of Thalassocnus

One dreadfully hot Thursday, back in the Miocene, a ground sloth stared out into the endless blue ocean and thought to himself “Blorf,” which means (roughly translated):

“It looks so nice out there…peaceful. It’s so dreadfully hot. And that’s clearly where all this yummy seaweed is coming from, so maybe I should go out there and find my own plants without all this crappy sand.”

So the ground sloth took a swim one day. He swam out as far as he could go. His heavy hair made the journey exhausting, but the sloth was cool and happy. The long swim made him hungry, so the sloth dove underwater and tried to look around but he found that the salt water stung his eyes…He grubbed around on the rocky bottom, more through feeling than seeing, and tried nipping at various things. Fish swam away, coral didn’t taste good, and the plants were also full of sand! Then, in an instant, the sloth was eaten by a shark. Bit right in half, in fact. Fish and invertebrates spent the next few days scavenging his corpse.

The sloth’s remains washed up on that same beach the following Tuesday. His friends didn’t discover the rotting half-carcass until Friday, as they had traveled to the beach to look for seashells and skip stones. Though saddened and alarmed, none of the sloths in the community were particularly surprised that the sloth was dead, mostly because they hadn’t seen him in awhile, but also because the sloth had been spouting weird nonsense like “yornk yornk hazoo,” which means (roughly translated):

“The end is nigh! Repent sinners!”

None of the other sloths knew want “sinners” meant. They’d figured it was just a phase. Still, the entire sloth community was puzzled by their strange friend’s remains. They all assumed that some predator—possibly one of those irritating cats—had attacked and killed the sloth and then either covered his remains with seashells and coral OR thrown him headlong into the ocean after dealing the deathblow in an effort to hide the carcass from another predator, or possibly an owl.

Most of the sloths accepted one or both theories, but a group of three sloths decided to search out more evidence. The elder sloths warned against swimming out into the oceans, and they raised several good points: Sloths didn’t know how to swim; you never know what’s hidden under the waves; and seriously, have you ever even crossed a river? But the elder sloths were old and senile. Why, just last week, two of them wandered off in to an ice cream shop that had closed down like twenty years ago and their families had to drop everything and wandered around looking for them for like two days. Goddamn elder sloths. So anyway, several sloths swam out to sea, convinced that their dead friend’s remains were somewhere out there and would tell them not only the method of death, but also the identity of the cat that killed him.

Three of the sloths were also eaten by sharks, but one made it back alive. He didn’t have as much hair as his compatriots, and so was not as weighed down. As remains of the other three washed up, more investigations were held (sloths are very particular), and this hilarious, though tragic, scenario repeated for several months. On the upside, it was a very good year for sharks. Eventually, the only sloths that were left were the freaks that could at least swim to and from the crime scene. Their investigations concluded that sharks were the culprits in almost all cases, save for the cat who doubtlessly murdered the original sloth before trying to hide the remains below a blanket of crustaceans, seaweed, and bits of coral. The twelve remaining sloths were all deformed in different ways: one was hairless, a few just had very short hair, one had webbed feet and hands, and one was unusually skilled with a harpoon which had fashioned, ironically, from the bones of the original washed-up sloth.

These weirdo sloths, free of oppression from the “normals” of their society, formed a new government based around living in and around the sea, a place where their deformations were celebrated instead of looked down upon. The sloths decreed that the only allowable land-based activities involved sleeping, shagging, and playing charades, which the sloths found difficult underwater. Within just a few years, the sloths had procreated and their children were also happily frolicking in the waves. Their children had an even easier time navigating the sea than their parents did, since so many of the unfortunate deformities had begun adding up in individual children. One of the young sloths was especially adept underwater: he was hairless, had webbed feet and hands, and had developed an unusually long snout which he used to grub around in crevices for food. Not even his mother could look at him straight, but the founding sloths knew that in just a few generations, their entire race may very well look something like that hideous freak. One group of young sloths invented water polo while others began building impressive structures with volcanic rocks and seaweed. Near-shore environments were preferred, as the sloths were quick to notice that anybody who ventured into the darker waters beyond the continental shelf were usually eaten by sharks (or, as sloth legend has it, semi-aquatic cats).

In time, the sloths began basing their society around the sport of water polo. They fashioned balls out of coconut shells and built surprisingly sturdy nets out of seaweed and vines the jungle. As sloth society grew, so too did the number of teams who competed in regional water polo matches. Unfortunately, sloths were pretty unimaginative, and team names tended to blur together: “The Fightin’ Sloths,” “Seasloths,” and “The Fightin’ Seasloths” were all legitimate teams. Adding home-base monikers did little to help. “The Fightin’ Sloths” soon became the “Big Piece of Rock Out by the Pink Coral Reef Fightin’ Sloths.” Not surprisingly, early experiments with announcers and color commentators failed spectacularly.

As the millennia passed, sloth scientists began predicting that ocean levels would drop significantly as the planet became cooler. They suggested that water would actually freeze and that, because of this “freezing” effect, the amount of available liquid water in the oceans would drop, and thus the oceans would recede, and sloth society would be in terrible danger. If the water levels dropped below the continental shelf, the sloths would either have to figure out how to protect themselves against the now largely-mythical sharks or return to life on land. The majority of sloths didn’t find either alternative appetizing, and chose instead to argue about illegal pinniped immigrants and whether or not their sloth king was actually born on the beach. It is generally believed that this useless bellyaching proved the downfall of the marine sloth, which scientists now know as Thalassocnus.

The Summer in Review

Well, a shitty summer that has been indistinguishable from autumn has finally given way to that actual season. September brings with it rain, dropping temperatures, ever-shorter days, and raking. Oh, the cursed raking. And it really was a terrible summer for the town of Anchorage: we broke a state record for most rainy days in a row (29), and days that weren’t filled with water were overcast. There were four or five really gorgeous summer days, of course, but overall it wasn’t a fantastic season. I did get through a good deal of my gaming backlog, which is always nice. I also stupidly added to it: Bayonetta was on sale and I can’t for the life of me put down Dragon Quest IX. I was slaughtered by the final boss yesterday, so it’s back to grinding for gear, alchemy ingredients, and experience. I might even change vocations, although that would mean more tedious grinding. Just last night, I realized that a single-player expansion for Bioshock 2 was released on PSN, which I now have to buy and play, because I love Bioshock. Have you seen the Bioshock Infinite trailer? Holy frigging crap.

One highlight of the last few weeks has been receiving an early review copy of Metroid: Other M and playing it to total completion, Hard mode and all. I gave the game a 7.0 at Nintendo World Report. It’s not a bad game, it just suffers from control and story issues, and it’s incredibly linear. The post-game content is great, but Hard mode is disappointing in that there is no reward for what’s essentially a lot of work. I also collected all of the Star Coins in Worlds 1-8 of New Super Mario Bros. Wii, then basically gave up on three of the World 9 stages because they’re honestly just not fun, requiring a level of precision that I’m simply not willing to put myself through. In July, my brother-in-law Justin and me played the ever-living crap out of PixelJunk Shooter, an excellent PSN game and completed it to 100%. I’m only missing one freaking trophy, which I’m still trying to nab.

I’ve also started doing Figure Reviews for two reasons. First, figure-collecting is a hobby of mine, and this blog reflects my hobbies. Second, when I’m getting ready to buy a figure, I like to look online for reviews. Sometimes reviews are surprisingly scarce, so I figured (HA!) there’s no harm in contributing. I’ve posted quite a few now, and I have more to cover. After I get done with my girls, I’ll probably start with my other figures, like my NECA TMNT figures.

On the paleo front, this blog’s been pretty quiet on the whole. My biggest “contribution” has been a series of posts about Toroceratops, which has received mixed reviews (check out the comments of those posts). I also did a good post about the semi-aquatic Psittacosaurus theory from Tracy Ford & Larry Martin. I tried to make it semi-serious, and Tracy was a good sport and responded…which I then responded to. Scott and Raven and I also attempted a monthly paleo-themed podcast called “Dino-Rama,” which fell apart almost immediately. In point of fact, we recorded a July episode in June. It’s September, and that podcast still hasn’t been posted. This isn’t really anybody’s fault: Scott is the audio editor but he’s always very busy, and I know nothing about audio editing and don’t especially want to learn how to do it. I do a gaming podcast, though, as you may have heard: the NWR Newscast, a biweekly, Nintendo-centric podcast about news, reviews, and off-track ranting. I’m also sometimes on Radio Trivia Podcast and rarely on Radio Free Nintendo. Actually, you’ll hear my nasally vocals on the upcoming episode of RFN, so stay tuned for that. Dino-Rama may continue in the future, but it will require a major overhaul and probably a fourth co-host who can also edit the audio.

In the coming months, you’ll probably see more irregularly-scheduled Figure Reviews and gaming news, maybe some more book reviews and paleo news coverage. I’ve got several art projects in the slow-cooker, including ceratopsids, Xenopermian critters, NWR avatars, and DinoNoir. None of these projects are on any kind of schedule (when you’re not paid for shit, there’s no incentive to get it done!) but I’ll post progress when I make it.

I’ll also post some updated contact information. A lot of people still use my Hotmail address, but I’m trying to move away from Hotmail for a variety of reasons. My standard email is now sillysaur (at) gmail (dot) com. You can also contact me on Facebook, and if you want to do some online PS3 gamin’ with me, my PSN Handle is Sillysaur.

Also, I’d like to point out that The Boneyard is back! Originally started by Brian Switek a few years ago as a monthly or bi-monthly collection of paleo-related posts, the project fell into disuse for over a year. David Orr, of Love in the Time of Chasmosaurs, has valiantly taken up the mantle. The first edition was just posted, so go check it out! David’s looking for volunteers for subsequent editions and, of course, more paleo posts to link to. All hail The Boneyard!

Excellent picture of Samus Aran by iwaisan, from Kotaku.

ID the Spider!

I have a task for all you invertebrate fans out there: identify this spider. It's been a very good summer for mites, harvestmen, and whatever spider this is, because all three arachnids are everything this year. Something about overcast, rainy skies I guess. Let's go down the list of this spider's features.

It comes in a surprising range of sizes, but the abdomens of the biggest ones I saw were a tiny bit smaller than my thumbnail. It is an orb-weaver, and builds a wheel-shaped web with lots of support strands. The color of the abdomen varies between light green and brown, but all of the individuals I saw had white speckles across the abdomen. The thorax is mostly pale yellow to orange, but has three brown bands moving down the thorax and head. The third pair of legs are the smallest. The legs are mostly the same pale yellow, but the joints are browish. The legs have large hairs.

There is one individual living on my grill, and it has built a surprisingly large web. The orb itself isn't all that impressive, but there number of support strands seems like overkill. The spider does not live on the web, but has constructed a little web-house beneath the grill. Surprisingly, there's a been a much smaller male living in the same web the whole season. His abdomen is a fraction the size of her's, although his leg span is probably similar. His has swollen palps. I watched him try to coax the female into mating one time, but she wasn't having it. Two of her legs were up, and he wasn't budging.

Anyway, it'd be cool if somebody knew what species this spider is. It's everywhere this year. We generally call them "pillow spiders" because of their fat abdomens.

Dear Spambot Inventors: Please Die. In Fire.

You readers may have noticed an uptick in the number of crafty spambots that have infiltrated my blog's clearly futile attempts at security. I don't know if there's a solution, exactly, but I do intend to take this weekend to thoroughly clear every spam comment from the back catalogue. This may take over an hour, but I am prepared. Besides, I have two disks of Justice League to keep me company. I could readily begin the purge tonight, but I would so like to draw before bed. Even some simple stick figures would be nice. It's been so very long since I achieved quality work.

Also, regarding this post's heading: I wish nothing but agonizing harm to the inventor(s) of said spambots. There are few subgroups of humanity I dislike more: Nazis, Islamic terrorists, teenagers who think they've "figured it out," and the entire cast of Sex & the City. My wife wants to "be" Carrie Bradshaw, somehow failing to realize that Carrie Bradshaw is a terrible human being. At any rate, the investor(s) of spambots fall into a similar camp. Lower than Nazis, but higher than the redhead.

Upcoming Posts

You folks might think I've been lazy in not posting. That is entirely true! However, I'm also "prepping" several posts, which includes drawing a lot of pictures. Here's a preview, of sorts, of the posts I have in the pipeline:

1. An Informal Critique of the "Semi-Aquatic Psittacosaurus" Theory: this post will focus on the paper by Ford & Martin in the new New Perspectives on Horned Dinosaurs book. It will include lot of illustrations, so it's taking awhile.

2. Torocertops: No, it's not another new ceratopsian. Rather, it's going to be a discussion of the very recent paper by Scannella & Horner which posits that Torosaurus represents a very old growth stage of Triceratops. Apparently trikes never stop growing. Once I read and digest the paper and do some illustrations, you can look forward to a critique.

3. Another figure review: I hope you guys aren't sick of the figure reviews, because I've got a lot more figures to...um...review. The next one will be my very first girl, the one who got me into the hobby in the first place. She's near and dear to my heart, but her paint isn't aging well.

That's what you can look forward to in the next two weeks or so!

Oviraptor Sketch

Ever since I started my new job, I've felt like I never have any spare time. I've learned to treasure weekends and Friday nights because of this. Last night, while my wife was chatting with a friend, I whipped up this general oviraptor sketch. It may warrant further tinkering, inking, and coloring next time I find myself with free time. The picture is somewhat inspired by Andrea Cau's recent discussion on oviraptor beaks and how far up the skull they extended.


Also, progress! Summer is coming along nicely, although it still hasn't hit 60 degrees yet. Buds are just now appearing on the trees.


There's a whole new world for Ozzie to sniff.

Funny Stuff

Someday, I am going to get off my ass and write an actual blog post with content, not shout-outs to other blogs and half-assed pieces of art, or pictures of half-naked video game vixen sculptures.

Today is not that day.

Instead, I'm going to share with you a very, very funny blog. It was recommended by Bill Parker, and after about five minutes of reading it I was laughing so hard I started coughing. I like it Alot. So head on over to my new favorite funny-blog, Hyperbole and a Half, and laugh your ass off. I know I did.

Hilarity is just a click away.

Very, very funny.