Shantae on DSiWare

For those of you who own a DSi or DSi XL, I recommend going to the DSiWare store and purchasing Shantae: Risky's Revenge, developed by WayForward. I'm a huge fan of the original Game Boy Color game (that none of you have ever heard of), and this sequel has been in various states of development ever since. It's 1200 Nintendo Points, which may seem expensive, but after an hour with the final product, I can assure you it's well worth it. Just an all-around excellent game, with wonderful spritework and beautiful animation. For those new to the Shantae scene, I can describe the gameplay as something akin to "Metroidvania," but with more item collection and specific quests.

Since you'll have to spend $20 to get the game (that's how Nintendo's retarded points system works), I can safely recommend a few other DSiWare titles to spend the other 800 points on. Dark Void Zero is a wonderful throwback platformer that strives and succeeds to immitate a lost NES game; Pinball Pulse: the Ancients Beckon is a great single-table pinball game from the people who made Metroid Prime Pinball; Spotto is a fun and adorable angle-based puzzle game; and Mighty Flips is WayForward's other DSiWare game, a puzzle game based on spacial reasoning that has connectivity with Shantae.

Gaming Update

Nobody asked for this, but I’m writing it anyway because (1) I enjoy writing, and (2) My post about Concavenator is taking longer than expected. So here’s one of those long, rambling gaming updates where I talk about what I’ve been playin’ and you all get to sit here and listen.

The Conduit (Wii)
I’m about two years too late, but hey, Fred Meyer was virtually giving this game away, quietly pleading for its customers to take heed this Great Deal and free up shelf space for better software like Daisy Fuentes Teaches Pilates. You might think I made that game up, but I did not. It’s sitting there for you to buy. I do not object to the inclusion of Daisy Fuentes, but the very fact that a Pilates game exists makes me shudder with fear. This is an activity best served on Microsoft’s upcoming failure, Kinect, rather than the Wii Balance Board.

Anyway, back to The Conduit. Despite early hype back when it was released in 2009, The Conduit is very much a paint-by-numbers corridor shooter. It’s certainly not bad, but it’s not great either, and whenever the game escapes the confines of endless hallways and monster closets, bursting into larger outdoor vistas, it promptly falls flat. Eager to “push” the hardware, the developers revel in their ability to throw multiple high-powered enemies at you from all directions. Strategy has no meaning here—your only recourse is to “brute force it,” as they say, running amok, guns a-blazing, hoping you survive long enough to reach the next checkpoint. I have not partaken in The Conduit’s supposedly robust online multiplayer offerings, which includes Wii Speak support. My misgivings do not result from the game itself, but my own failures as an online shooter gamer. Previous attempts, which have been valiant, were given to Call of Duty 4, Halo 2, Halo 3, and Modern Warfare 2. All ended in tragedy. To be fair, I did somehow enjoy myself in all efforts, but it was clearly not where my skills existed. If forced to play a multiplayer shooter, I will choose something sufficiently old-school, like Turok 2 or Goldeneye 007, in which modern frills had not been invented, and my limited skillset leads to as many victories as losses, though that number, on average, is often skewed toward the latter.

Dragon Quest IX (DS)
In the same way that the core Pokemon games dig their Razor Claws into my soft hide, Dragon Quest IX has proven to be an unwavering master. Though I recently completed the main story, my tasks are far from complete, as there are Quests to pursue, Alchemy to perform, and Grottos to explore and conquer. I have also been experimenting with the game’s many Vocations (jobs), taking my Lv. 45 Minstrel back down to a Lv. 1 Thief and leveling her up from there, to happy results—although I wish she could carry a shield. My goal now is fuzzy and undefined: leveling up and bettering my equipment occupies the majority of my time, and traveling to Grottos to find ever-rarer alchemical ingredients is a rare, but welcome affair.

I have been wholly unable to make use of the game’s “Tag” mode, in which players can passively download maps where their DS systems sense each-other’s presence. Additionally, Dragon Quest IX features a unique local multiplayer system whereby two players can travel to each-other’s worlds, gathering alchemy recipes and finding items unique to that particular world. Alas, none of my DS-owning friends have any interesting in a traditional Japanese RPG, so I’ll have to wait until one of my NWR colleagues takes my offer of pizza and beer at the Mooses’ Tooth to get my multiplayer on. I’m taking a short break from the eternal grinding of the post-game material to experience the joy of Chrono Trigger (see below).


Bioshock 2: Minvera’s Den (PS3)
My adoration for 2K’s dystopian Bioshock brand is well-established. I’ve played the original brilliant game like three times. I’ve played its sequel through once, and tried on the multiplayer but felt it unrefined and, frankly, unnecessary. The developers have released two or three expansions and tweaks to the multiplayer game, but I was pleasantly Electro-Bolted last week to discover that they recently released a big beautiful single-player expansion called Minerva’s Den. For all intents and purposes, this is an original entry in the series, with little to no immediate connection to the events of Bioshock or its sequel. Taking place after the death of Andrew Ryan and possibly parallel to Sophie Lamb’s final, desperate attempts at control, Minerva’s Den tells the story of the two programmers who built Rapture’s central computer. Your journey takes you into entirely new locales. While still a Big Daddy, your protagonist becomes far more defined by game’s end and the story of Minerva’s Den is one of haunting tragedy and redemption.

The game offers up a new Plasmid, a very effective new weapon, a few new Tonics, and Trophies. There’s also a fun subquest and quicker “defend the Little Sister” segments. While this expansion lasts roughly eight hours (more if you’re trying to complete the subquest), it feels very complete, and in no way overstays its welcome. Minerva’s Den brings to mind the magic of the original Bioshock, and offers a more satisfying ending than Bioshock 2 did. Now we have to wait almost two years for the next iteration of the franchise, but I assure you that Bioshock Infinite looks incredible even at this early stage.

Tomb Raider: Underworld (PS3)
I’m actually replaying this game, but I have a good reason. When I first bought the game, I played through very quickly. I loved it. It was a graphical leap above Tomb Raider: Legend and Tomb Raider: Anniversary while retaining the excellent gameplay of those titles. Underworld, however, suffers from some bugs and performance issues. It’s very easy for Lara to get stuck on geometry or misjudge jump distance or direction during a jump. You have to babysit the camera every step of the way, although this does lead to unexpectedly, but pleasant, looks right down Lara’s shirt. During gunfights and certain platforming sequences, however, the camera is a real burden. The game looks absolutely drop-dead gorgeous—one of the best-looking games on the system as far as I’m concerned—but that graphical fidelity comes with a steep price: framerate issues, especially when bloom lighting is a part of the scenery. I really do like games of this ilk, however. That is, games that feature a bunch of environmental puzzles and platforming.

I’m replaying the game because it updated a year or so ago to include Trophies. Sadly, they are not retroactively applied. So despite completing the game—including finding 100% of the pickups and unlocking Lara’s terrible “bonus” costume (it's a palatte swap)—I didn’t get any Trophies for my efforts once the patch was downloaded. So over the past year, I’ve been slowly replaying the game, only recently getting back into it. Thankfully, I remember where all the really hard-to-find pickups are, but I imagine some backtracking will be required to find the more common treasures. There are only two levels left, and the last one is incredibly short (basically a lead-up to a boss sequence), so I should have this in the bucket before too long. I’m excited to try Lara’s new game, Lara Croft: Guardian of Light, which is already out on the 360 but launches toward the end of this month on the PSN. It’s been getting amazingly good reviews.

Quick Hits
Here’s a list of games I play from time to time—basically, when I get around to them.

Bayonetta (PS3)
I can say with unwavering honesty that I have never played a video game that’s as self-aware and over-the-top as Bayonetta. I enjoy it immensely, but it exists well within the realm of a genre I’m not usually a fan of. At its core, it’s a 3D brawler, but more akin to Devil May Cry and Viewtiful Joe than God of War. It is fast-paced, requires some modicum of precision, and is mission-based. None of this is surprising given the fact that the developers worked on…Devil May Cry and Viewtiful Joe before this. It is an overtly sexual game, though not in the way you’d think: there are no bikini-clad Dead or Alive goddesses here. Bayonetta herself is fully clothed, but adopts a handful of moderate-to-heavily suggestive poses and positions while destroying her angelic enemies. At the same time, the whole game is ridiculously campy. It’s an interesting dichotomy that works for me. Plus, the game was half off. I’m early in the goings, and I imagine things will become steadily more complex the farther I go down this particular rabbit hole.

Chrono Trigger (DS)
My motivation for buying this old-school, genre-defining RPG was twofold. First, it is at the top of my “Secret Shame,” list. These are games I have always meant to experience but never got around to. When Chrono Trigger first came out on the DS several years ago, I almost picked it up, but grimaced at the patented Square Tax that jacked the price up beyond normal DS standards. I was reasonably certain the price would fall in the coming months. This did not occur. My copy was recently procured secondhand, using the remaining store credit I had at the cursed Play ‘n’ Trade, thus breaking my ties to that merchant and revealing my second motive for purchasing the game. It’s a great game so far, although the combat system has demanded some adjustment. If you’ve played the Penny Arcade Adventures games, you’ll have a better understanding of it, though it’s faster-paced in Chrono Trigger. I still don’t like Akira Toriyama’s art, though.


A Boy & His Blob (Wii)
It’s taking me an ungodly amount of time to finish this game, as I’ve had it since November. It’s not terribly challenging; it’s just slow-moving, and I’m a rampant completionist, so I’m compelled to find all of the treasures in each level. I’m halfway through the third world and I genuinely feel like I’ve seen it all, and that everything from here on in is just going to be repetitious. I’m probably wrong (I often am), but that preconceived notion has held me back from just finishing the damn thing. I should mention that this is a beautiful, hand-drawn game in which you can hug the blob. How this simple mechanic has not kept me invested is a genuine mystery.

The Saboteur (PS3)
This is one of those games I bought based on recommendations from podcasts. Generally, I like it. I just haven’t gotten very far. It starts out as a more focused linear story but quickly turns into a WWII Grand Theft Auto game. The controls are a little wonky. The main character is a rabblerousing Irishman who does the kind of building-climbing usually reserved for an Assassin’s Creed game. Unlike those games, however, you have no real way of defending yourself against enemies once they spot you, since they tend to be heavily armed Nazis. So there’s a lot of trial and error, which isn’t necessarily my thing. I haven’t touched this game in awhile, but I do want to get back to it.

Dark Void (PS3)
This is another game I got at Fred Meyer when they were trying to free up shelf space. There are two distinct parts to this strange game: Uncharted-like shooter segments and surprisingly wonky air combat that’s littered with bugs. The story is semi-interesting (This is completely untrue. –Ed) and the main character is voiced by Nolan North, so that’s something. The graphics are pretty standard fare, nothing really stands out, and the enemies can be surprisingly intelligent but insanely cheap. So far, I like Dark Void Zero, a “lost” NES game released for DSiWare, a lot more than this game. However, it’s not terrible, so I pop it in every now and then to get a little farther.

Games I Own But Haven’t Touched
Every gamer has a nefarious backlog of games he or she bought (usually for cheap) but haven’t gotten around to playing. Mine isn’t terrible, and someday I’ll get around to playing these games.

De Blob (Wii)
This game, about a colorful blob who literally paints the town red (or blue, or green, etc.) was given great marks by my own website (http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/) and it looks really fun. I like the art style and the idea of splattering paint all over a city. The only thing that’s got me nervous is the fact that you have to wiggle the Wii Remote to jump—obviously a shoehorned “motion control” gimmick.

Resistance: Fall of Man (PS3)
I love Insomniac. They made all the Ratchet & Clank games, after all. But a first-person shooter set just after WWI involving an alien takeover? I’m intrigued, but I’m also a little hesitant. Aside from the SyFy plotline, the game was a PS3 launch game and probably doesn’t perform as admirably as more modern shooters. This was another Fred Meyer sale game. I know I should try it out, but I haven’t had the energy.


Resistance 2 (PS3)
This is the sequel released in 2008 or 2009 (I can’t remember) that I bought when it, too, was regaled to the bargain bin (at Fred Meyer, no less). Since I haven’t played the first game, I sure as hell haven’t played the second one, which I hear is better in some ways, worse in others.

The Summer in Review

Well, a shitty summer that has been indistinguishable from autumn has finally given way to that actual season. September brings with it rain, dropping temperatures, ever-shorter days, and raking. Oh, the cursed raking. And it really was a terrible summer for the town of Anchorage: we broke a state record for most rainy days in a row (29), and days that weren’t filled with water were overcast. There were four or five really gorgeous summer days, of course, but overall it wasn’t a fantastic season. I did get through a good deal of my gaming backlog, which is always nice. I also stupidly added to it: Bayonetta was on sale and I can’t for the life of me put down Dragon Quest IX. I was slaughtered by the final boss yesterday, so it’s back to grinding for gear, alchemy ingredients, and experience. I might even change vocations, although that would mean more tedious grinding. Just last night, I realized that a single-player expansion for Bioshock 2 was released on PSN, which I now have to buy and play, because I love Bioshock. Have you seen the Bioshock Infinite trailer? Holy frigging crap.

One highlight of the last few weeks has been receiving an early review copy of Metroid: Other M and playing it to total completion, Hard mode and all. I gave the game a 7.0 at Nintendo World Report. It’s not a bad game, it just suffers from control and story issues, and it’s incredibly linear. The post-game content is great, but Hard mode is disappointing in that there is no reward for what’s essentially a lot of work. I also collected all of the Star Coins in Worlds 1-8 of New Super Mario Bros. Wii, then basically gave up on three of the World 9 stages because they’re honestly just not fun, requiring a level of precision that I’m simply not willing to put myself through. In July, my brother-in-law Justin and me played the ever-living crap out of PixelJunk Shooter, an excellent PSN game and completed it to 100%. I’m only missing one freaking trophy, which I’m still trying to nab.

I’ve also started doing Figure Reviews for two reasons. First, figure-collecting is a hobby of mine, and this blog reflects my hobbies. Second, when I’m getting ready to buy a figure, I like to look online for reviews. Sometimes reviews are surprisingly scarce, so I figured (HA!) there’s no harm in contributing. I’ve posted quite a few now, and I have more to cover. After I get done with my girls, I’ll probably start with my other figures, like my NECA TMNT figures.

On the paleo front, this blog’s been pretty quiet on the whole. My biggest “contribution” has been a series of posts about Toroceratops, which has received mixed reviews (check out the comments of those posts). I also did a good post about the semi-aquatic Psittacosaurus theory from Tracy Ford & Larry Martin. I tried to make it semi-serious, and Tracy was a good sport and responded…which I then responded to. Scott and Raven and I also attempted a monthly paleo-themed podcast called “Dino-Rama,” which fell apart almost immediately. In point of fact, we recorded a July episode in June. It’s September, and that podcast still hasn’t been posted. This isn’t really anybody’s fault: Scott is the audio editor but he’s always very busy, and I know nothing about audio editing and don’t especially want to learn how to do it. I do a gaming podcast, though, as you may have heard: the NWR Newscast, a biweekly, Nintendo-centric podcast about news, reviews, and off-track ranting. I’m also sometimes on Radio Trivia Podcast and rarely on Radio Free Nintendo. Actually, you’ll hear my nasally vocals on the upcoming episode of RFN, so stay tuned for that. Dino-Rama may continue in the future, but it will require a major overhaul and probably a fourth co-host who can also edit the audio.

In the coming months, you’ll probably see more irregularly-scheduled Figure Reviews and gaming news, maybe some more book reviews and paleo news coverage. I’ve got several art projects in the slow-cooker, including ceratopsids, Xenopermian critters, NWR avatars, and DinoNoir. None of these projects are on any kind of schedule (when you’re not paid for shit, there’s no incentive to get it done!) but I’ll post progress when I make it.

I’ll also post some updated contact information. A lot of people still use my Hotmail address, but I’m trying to move away from Hotmail for a variety of reasons. My standard email is now sillysaur (at) gmail (dot) com. You can also contact me on Facebook, and if you want to do some online PS3 gamin’ with me, my PSN Handle is Sillysaur.

Also, I’d like to point out that The Boneyard is back! Originally started by Brian Switek a few years ago as a monthly or bi-monthly collection of paleo-related posts, the project fell into disuse for over a year. David Orr, of Love in the Time of Chasmosaurs, has valiantly taken up the mantle. The first edition was just posted, so go check it out! David’s looking for volunteers for subsequent editions and, of course, more paleo posts to link to. All hail The Boneyard!

Excellent picture of Samus Aran by iwaisan, from Kotaku.

Zach's Figure Reviews: Tifa Lockhart

I don't remember much about Final Fantasy VII other than Cloud is intolerably annoying, Sephiroth is legitimately awesome, and Aerith's death scene is overrated. I wasn't really into RPGs back then, and I'm still not really into RPGs today, although I have half a mind to buy Dragon Quest IX because I actually liked Dragon Quest VIII a lot before I got sick of it, and my buddy Neal Ronaghan highly recommends it, and I trust Neal when it comes to games. We record a podcast together with fellow NWR newshound Andy Goergen...you know, if you're interested. Where was I? Oh, right, FFVII. The other thing I remember is Tifa Lockart, the drop-dead gorgeous bartender and resistance leader of the party.


Tifa is a strong, sexy character with a traditional anime design without going too overboard. I really like this statue (cold-cast resin) because it's detailed but feels very simple at the same time. This is also the first of many "gaming girls" I'll feature in these reviews. She's decked out in her traditional FFVII uniform (thank Cthulhu) because this figure was produced before that awful Advent Children movie was made, or perhaps even conceptualized. This figure is very smooth--there's almost no texture work aside from her boots and gloves.


But the texture and detail work that is present is pretty nice: the loose belt, glove pegs, and suspender straps are all impressively sculpted. The creases in her mini-skirt are nice, as are the stretch-marks on her tank top. Our girl could probably stand to wear a bra, yes? But I really like how basic everything is, even the color scheme: black, white, browns, and a skin tone. Tifa's gloves are about the same color as her eyes, and her hair is somewhere between her eyes and black.


Here's a side-view. Her hair is quite extensive and also nicely detailed. The points of the ponytail are surprisingly sharp! I've never been all that sure why Tifa wears suspenders at all if she's just going to shove them aside so that they frame her giant...ohhhhh. Her breasts certainly look larger in lateral view, don't they? In stark contrast to the shelf on her chest, Tifa is entirely lacking in the backside department. Hey, I don't sculpt 'em.


Aaaand here's the other side. Better look at her "thumbs-up" hand, and the interesting elbowpad on her left arm. I am not at all sure what that's for. Note the good-sized rim on her glove and the earing in her ear. "Hey," I hear you asking, "she's a good looker 'n' all, but how does she manage to stand? Is she just standing on the table?" Good question, nameless reader who might or might not exist! Let's investigate.


In fact, Ms. Lockhart is affixed to her impressively weighty base via foot-peg. This gives her absolute freedom to rotate on the base itself, though it's pretty darn clear where the "front" is (see her giant nametag?). I just realized that this is a somewhat gratuitous photograph. Luckily, Tifa's sculptor aired on the side of modesty and painted on some panties. Notice, too, the creases and ties in her boots. Spared no expense, I tell you! I actually dislike the nametag. I think it's kind of ugly, and people who buy this statue already know who it IS.


In case you were wondering who the publisher is, it's printed on the bottom of the base. It's Kotobukiya, my favorite figure manufacturer. That will become apparent as I review more figures (though it's largely coincidental--they just happen to manufacture the figures I tend to like). Just FYI, the base is easily heavier than Tifa herself, which is great, but it's not like her pose is dynamic or off-the-wall and would lead to imbalance.


Here's a good front shot. Her eyes are (I think) expressive, and convey a different emotion than her oft-reproduced character art from the game. She's a bit more reserved here, not quite so determined. The coloration on her gloves is also apparent. More hair detail, too. It's a very good figure--very detailed, true to the character, and simplistic. I bought her on eBay several years ago for under $40. I just did a quick check and this statue is selling for $100 now. I'm glad I got in when I did! She is "out-of-print," so she'd be tough to find any other way. I highly recommend her, though, for those of you who like gaming girls generally or Final Fantasy in particular. On her base, Tifa stands 8" tall.

Mai Shiranui: Unaffordable

I've been looking for a kickass Mai Shiranui statue/figure for years. I have found it. This is that figure. The manufacturer is taking preorders right now. But even if you discount my current financial situation (which is not...awesome), she's a little spendy. We're talking $275, and I don't think that includes shipping.

From JAPAN.

So I'll have to hold off. Still, I think she's pretty big...in terms of height. She might be as tall as or taller than Brandy. I'll keep an eye out, but I don't think I'll be able to afford this incredible figure.

Pokeholicsm Returns

The addiction returns. It's not full-fledged obsession, as it was for Pokemon Pearl, thankfully. When Platinum came out a bit more than a year later, I was burned out after catching them all, and was content to play just enough to write a review. But now, just a year later, I get a review copy of the newest game, Pokemon HeartGold, and I'm right back in the thick of it. I'm playing this game fo' real, yo, even trying to catch a lot (but certainly not all) of 'em. I initially meant simply to trade over my Tier 1 team from Pearl once I beat the Elite Four, but I'm finding myself sticking with my original team, which is mostly caught Pokemon: Red Gyarados, Feraligatr, Ampharos, Lucario, Gallade, and Ho-Oh. I have a Bibarrel as an HM slave. I'm in Kanto now, and I have no intent on stopping, even after writing a two-man two-man review with Neal Ronaghan.

So, anyway, as Pokefanatics already know, the pull of this franchise is strong. It's almost as if, at some point in our evolutionary history, collecting adorable monsters and using them to resolve conflict was paramount to our survival. Most of the Pokemon I meet in the wild easily submit to a Quick Ball, but those damn legendaries, as always, provide considerable challenge. We've all been in the situation of facing a legendary who we've managed to knock down to 1 HP AND put to sleep, only to experience the heartbreak of running out of Pokeballs. That happened to me twice while trying to check off Ho-Oh. Oh, the frustration! Eventually, however, I made it part of my team, and Sacred Fire has been setting those bothersome Grass and Steel types alight ever since.

Now, the other reason the game is taking up all my time is that it's getting me off my ass. No, really. This is a video game that encourages exercise, and not in a forced Wii Fit sort of way. Behold: the unbelievably simplistic, but addictive, Pokewalker.


This device is a pedometer. It counts your steps. However, there's more to it than that! For every twenty steps you take, you earn a "Watt." For every ten Watts you earn, you get chance to catch a Pokemon that is then stored on the Pokewalker until you wirelessly connect it to HeartGold. For a mere three Watts, you can play a "find an item!" game where you can find rare items, like Stardust and Berries. When you import one of your Pokemon to the Pokewalker, you also choose a "Route" to walk on, which really just means "what batch of Pokemon would you like to catch?" There are six Pokemon per route, but they are divided into two "classes," and you never know what class you start out with until you start finding them. Furthermore, the best Pokemon in each class are only findable after walking nine or ten thousand steps. That's a lot of stepping! However, it pays off: today I caught a Pikachu that knows Fly (or Surf, depending on the class--I don't know which one yet).

So the Pokewalker gives me incentive to walk more, which is great!

I also just beat Koga's daughter. I'm totally pwning this game. It's so awesome.

King of Fighters XIII

In theory, I should've loved the hell out of King of Fighters XII. I'm not going to say that KoF is my favorite fighting franchise (that'd be Soul Calibur), but it's probably my favorite 2D fighting series. It's one of the last really arcadey brawlers that sticks with an old-school formula and is pretty simple to pick up and have fun with. I can't get that with Street Fighter IV, a game that virtually requires an arcade stick to be good at. I guess I like Capcom's Vs. series (most recently Tatsunoko vs. Capcom), too.

Anyway, last year's King of Fighters XII revised the series by going back to 2D, but high-res, detailed, sprite-based 2D. It was a stunningly beautiful game, but very bare-bones and obviously a work in progress. It also didn't have Mai Shiranui, a staple of the series. Frankly, I'm not going to buy a King of Fighters game that doesn't have Mai in it. Am I a bad person? Of course, that's not debatable. Well, King of Fighters XIII IS going to feature Mai Shiranui. And I'll probably buy it because of that.

Also, on Wednesday, Dead or Alive: Paradise is coming to the PSP. Can't turn that one down. Not if I wanted to.

Big PS3 DLC Drop Tomorrow

Fans of Capcom's excellent Resident Evil 5 will get their first big taste of DLC tomorrow with the addition of a new campaign mode chapter called "Lost in Nightmares" and a revised version of The Mercenaries with a few new characters. I've never been a huge fan of Mercenaries just because I don't like memorizing map layouts, but it is good practice for Versus games. I'm excited about the campaign chapter, which lets you play out the game's prequel storyline, where Chris and Jill explore Ozwell Spencer's mansion before Jill and Wesker take a spill out a window. I predict it will be a fanservice recreation of RE1. Any excuse to jump back into the game, after all. I have plenty more gun upgrades to buy.

Also, the final chapter in Assassin's Creed 2 comes out tomorrow. This is pretty impressive, considering that the 12th chapter came out like last week, and chapter 13 completes the story. I still haven't beaten the game, as I was waiting for all the missing chapters to drop before I experienced the ending. I do feel like it's a rip-off that actual parts of the story were held back for DLC, though one wonders how important those two chapters are overall. I certainly don't know yet.

I have no idea how much all this DLC will cost, but I've got plenty of unspent PSN gift card money. If you folks out there in Readerland also have RE5 and want to get your co-op on, my PSN name is "Sillysaur." Join me--we'll rock it!

Sweet Employment, & Other News

It's been awhile since I've posted anything, and Will Baird asked me if I'd gotten a job yet, so I realized that few of you out there in readerland might know if I'm back on my feet or not. So this post will be a general update post on things that have going on in Zach World.

1. I got a job: I'm back to my legal assistant roots, this time at a trust and estate firm. This is a whole new skill set, and virtually none of my previous experience (contract law, risk management, etc.) carries over to here. My employer says it takes about a year for new people before the whole thing "clicks," and I believe it. I thought I'd be taking a significant pay cut, but I got my W-2 from my previous job and found out that--hey, look--they chopped my pay by about 8K without telling me. So that was great. So it's not the pay cut I thought it was! I really enjoy the people, and I have my own office and parking space. Unfortunately, I am really tied to an 8-hour day, and that wasn't the case at my previous two jobs. But I've been there for about a week and a half now, and I like it.

2. Gecko Death Watch: I'm down to one lizard (Solid) and she's obvious got some kind of infection. It started about two or three weeks ago. She's not eating, but bizarrely, she's just as active and is otherwise acting completely normal. Aside from the loss of appetite, I know she's sick because she's pooping out white blobs of...gross. And it requires effort to do so--I've watched her push one out, and it looks taxing. I took her to the vet, they did some Xrays to see if she had impacted eggs, but she didn't, so they gave her an enema and some antibiotics. I think she needs another enema, and it's clear that didn't solve the problem. Unfortunately, it's not really worth the cost to take her back there ($220? The lizard cost $20!) so if the problem doesn't go away on its own and she starts spiraling, I'll be down to NO lizards. It's so strange that all of my geckos have become infected with different things in this last year.



3. Dark Void Zero:This is the first DSiWare game I've bought voluntarily. It's really, really good, and from what I've read, better than the PS3/360 game. This is hilarious because Dark Void Zero is essentially an 8-bit NES game with chiptunes that was developed at Capcom as a joke while the main team was working on the PS3/360 game. It's fantastic, and brings to mind games like Bionic Commando, but replace the bionic arm with a bitchin' jetpack. It's very short, but it's also only $5, and there are three difficulties to conquer. If you have a DSi, I can't recommend this highly enough. So far, it's DSiWare's one killer app.

4. Spider-Man: Reign: You can also call this The Web-Slinger Returns, as it's essentially a Spider-Man version of The Dark Knight Returns. Even the art style is similar. It's not as long or fleshed out, but it's still fun. I got it at Barnes & Nobel on sale for like $6, which is about right. There's a lot of sobbing over MJ's death, and Doc Oc's appearance isn't explained very well, but it's an interesting departure from the usual Spider-Man silliness. I would really like to see one of these "far in the future" superhero books illustrated by somebody whose art I like, though.

5. I still haven't seen Avatar: I didn't have a job for awhile, so money was tight. I'm not real interested in blowing like $16 on the 3D version, but everybody tells me that's the way to see it, so...yeah. Just to be clear: I don't give two craps about the storyline or even the blue cat people, I'm only in this for the xenobiology and plant life. I will see it in theaters, and I will enjoy it, but it's taken much longer than I thought it would.

6. Paleontology is Awesome: I know I've been remiss in posting about two very awesome stories, and it might be awhile until I really get around to it, so I urge you to read David Hone's rundown of the new basal alvarezsauroid, Haplocheirus sollers. I've been working on draft drawing. Someday I'll post it here. For the other big news, Ed Yong has you covered as to the colorful story about Anchiornis. I've encouraged Scott and Raven to join me in producing a trio of Anchiornis drawings to show off the colors.

7. Tatsunoko vs. Capcom is Also Awesome: If you liked Smash Bros., this is the next-best thing. Leave your friend code in the comments. We'll rock it. My friend code is 3867-9477-7677. I am an expert with Morrigan and Frank West. I haven't messed with the Tatsunoko characters much, but that's because I'm trying to unlock Zero first. My strategy with fighting games has generally been this: Favor the female character with the largest breasts or most revealing outfit, then practice enough to get very, very skilled with her. Thus, I am deadly with Ivy in Soul Calibur IV. Well, probably not anymore, because I haven't touched that game in like six months.

I also got Excitebots for a song. It's a great online game. If you have it, leave your friend code and add me: 2837-1198-4749.

And for you PS3 fans, my PSN name is Sillysaur and I play a lot of Little Big Planet and Modern Warfare 2.

Hey, guys, what's up?

So I've been busy. Really busy, as the photo above shows. Doing what? Building things with my Pixelblocks, of course. This would be Shantae, from the Game Boy Color game of the same name. But aside from that, I've been playing video games (mostly Assassin's Creed 2) and getting back into the drawing thing. But honestly, most of my time has been spent job-hunting, and I've discovered a very interesting, if annoying, fact: for every thirty resumes you send out, you get two or three responses. One place emailed me back enthusiastically and asked if they could set up a phone interview for the next day. Sure, I said. They never called, and didn't respond to emails from me asking what's going on. So, you know, awesome.

But yesterday I got a potentially awesome job offer from a law firm. There are some kinks to work out, including the starting pay, but they seem very willing to accomodate me. I'm a little worried that I'll have to accept a drop in salary for my first year (compared to my last job), but after that first year, I get to start billing time, which opens up a whole new pay grade. Hopefully it will all work out. And no, I still haven't seen Avatar. I did see Gamera the Brave, the newest daikaiju film starring everyone's favorite rocket-powered turtle, and I basically hated it. Some of the Showa-era films treated the character with more respect than this one did. Still, it's good to have in my collection.

I've also made a short list of cheap video games I'm going to buy when I get a job and start making money again: Let's Tap, Madworld, and Retro Game Challenge. The first two based on kitch factor, the third because I'm actually interested in it. The first game exists mainly for its awesome soundtrack whereas the second one looks like a video game version of Sin City. They're all stupid cheap, so it's a win-win.

I also participated in two podcasts this week, both over at Nintendo World Report. I did my usual color commentary for the NWR Newscast and a special guest appearance on the Radio Trivia Podcast, which is still being edited. Maybe I can entice the Radio Free Nintendo crew to let me join in this week so I can get all three in the same week, thus completing the NWR Podcast Ironman challenge. That's about it, then. I should have a substantial post up before...you know...too long. Maybe with some good news attached to it. Huzzah!

I'm Excited, Personally.

BioShock was the most beautiful game, from an art direction perspective, that I've played in years. It didn't hurt that the gameplay was kickass and the storyline was freakin' creepy and got in your head. The sequel launches on February 9, 2010. This will be a day-one purchase, no doubt.

HOLY SHIT THAT'S AWESOME Edit: This is the greatest special edition I've ever seen. For anything. Ever.

I Got a New Hat

I changed my T-shirt for this picture, but you should be aware that those particular pants were already on. The hat was my Club Nintendo reward for becoming a Platinum member (thank Cthulhu for free review copies). I love it! Perhaps this will be my new "signature" headwear. I'd be a lot easier to pick out of the SVP crowd. Everybody wears a cowboy hat, but how many people wear a Mario hat?

A Game We Can All Enjoy

The world needs more games where you wander around and are chased by dinosaurs. Activision has heeded this battle cry, announcing Jurassic: The Hunted. It will launch November 3rd for all three modern consoles and, bizarrely, the PS2, for cheap. I'm not even sure what kind of a game this is, but it will feature "arena-style fights, sieges, survival modes, and suitably large boss fights, with an adrenaline mechanic that allows the player to target the enemy's weak spots in slow motion." SOLD. There hasn't been a good dinosaur-themed FPS since...well, honestly, Turok: Dinosaur Hunter on the N64 (I hestitate to call Turok 2: Seeds of Evil dinosaur-themed), so it's about time we got a new one. And this game looks beautiful. Heavily stylized, but I don't care. That looks like a Todd Marshall Spinosaurus! Click the link for more screenshots, including what appears to be Torosaurus.

Best DSi Software EVER Released Today

For those of you with DSi's, there is NO excuse not to download FlipNote Studio today. It's free, it takes up a mere 88 blocks of the DSi's memory, and it's animation software. In the near future, Nintendo will be releasing a patch that allows users to upload their animations onto a shared website, like YouTube for FlipNote Studio. This was my Game of Show at E3, and I can't believe it's here so soon.

Honestly, if you're a creative type like me, FlipNote Studio is worth the cost of a DSi alone. That's $180, but it's portable animation software. I'll be doing this all week.

WPFR E3 '09 Awards

Now that E3's been over for two days and I've had some time to digest and reflect on what I've seen, I can finally hand out some coherent shows awards. Keep in mind that the awards given on this blog do not reflect the views of Nintendo World Report, which will probably be giving out its own Nintendo-centric awards (understandably) within the next week or so. So without further ado, let me present you with the When Pigs Fly Returns E3 2009 Awards!

Best Nintendo Wii Game: New Super Mario Bros. Wii

I played more of this game more than any other on the show floor. New Super Mario Bros. Wii is a sequel to the DS game from a few years ago, and in general it's the same game. Supposedly, the game features more than 80 levels, more than twice what the DS game had. A few new gameplay devices really set this one apart, though. First, Yoshi is in here and you can ride him. What's more, he's back to eating berries a la Super Mario World. New items like the Penguin Suit make up for the horrors that were the Micro Mushroom and Koopa Shell. Most impressively, New Super Mario Bros. Wii will feature four-player local co-op. Players compete for Star Coins, lives, and normal coins and are ranked at the end of each stage. You can pick up other players, jump off each other's heads, and do the Galaxy spin move by shaking the Wii Remote. It's undeniably fun, but like Four Swords Adventures, I can see it becoming frustrating if you're playing with people who don't know what they're doing. For the rest of us, though, New Super Mario Bros. Wii is gonna be freakin' sweet when it launches this holiday. Oh, did I mention that the Koopa Kids are making a triumphant return? That basically seals the deal.

Best Nintendo DS Game: Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story

The big news was The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks, but I honestly didn't like it very much. Being a huuuge fan of Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga on the GBA, I was excited to play Bowser's Inside Story, the third game in the series. The game looks absolutely stunning, with ridiculously detailed, expressive sprites. You get to play as Bowser and the Mario Bros. The boys have been shrunked down and inhaled by the Koopa King, and you've got to help or hinder his exploits by switching between Bowser and his enemies. The gameplay is roughly similar to that of Partners in Time, but controlling Bowser is a hoot. Looks like Fawful is back, which may be the best news ever. I don't have a release date for you, aside from before the end of the year.

Best Nintendo DSiWare Game: FlipNote Studio

FlipNote is going to be freeware on the DSi before too long, so that alone is awesome. The best part is that it's a simple, yet robust, piece of animation software for the Nintendo DSi. I created three simple animations: a T.rex yawning, a sauropod eating, and a blob bouncing. What's nice is that subsequent flipbook pages save a grayed-out version of the previous frame so you can work off that and not from scratch. You'll be able to send your animations to other DSi's (locally) and upload your creations to a special website. This little piece of software absolutely blew me away, and is reason enough to buy a DSi if you've been holding off.

Best Nintendo Non-Game: Wii Sports Resort

This game was at E3 last year, and seemed to be little more than a tech demo for Nintendo's upcoming Wii Motion Plus accessory. This year, however, the games are much more robust. The Wii Motion Plus is a very powerful tool, integrating a gyroscope and allowing players to have a lot more control over their in-game motions. I played Archery, Frisbee, and Table Tennis, and I was impressed with the control in each one. In Frisbee, it feels like you're throwing the thing, and this is coming from somebody who plays ultimate frisbee. Table Tennis is great because you can put a lot of spin on the ball, and the game can differentiate between a forehand and backhand shot. Archery challenges you to hit an ever-distancing target (you hold the Wii Remote as though it's the bow). I was surprised how much I enjoyed the games, and it's coming out in just a few weeks, bundled with the Wii Motion Plus.

Best Nintendo Announcement: Metroid: Other M

Some fans may decry the newest entry in the Metroid series as heresy given Team Ninja's involvement, but those people are idiots. You decried the Metroid Prime games too because of Retro Studio's involvement, only to eat your words when the games turned out to be awesome. Other M looks to be a more traditional 2D game (2.5D) but looks more action-oriented. These are the people who brought you Ninja Gaiden, after all. But that's not a bad thing. It's a prequel game that explores Samus' involvement in the military under Adam Malokavich from Metroid Fusion. I started tearing up when I realized that we were watching a Metroid trailer: you can check it out at NWR. Tycho and Gabe summed up my feelings pretty well.

Most WTF Announcement: The Wii Vitality Sensor

What the fuck? A pulse/O2 sensor for your Wii Remote? Nintendo President Iwata was really psyched about this bizarre device. His hope is that gaming can become a part of everyone's lives, even people who will never play games. So let's give 'em a heartbeat sensor for your index finger. I can see how the Vitality Sensor would work with a wide range of games, from Wii Fit to a stealth game, but Iwata didn't talk about any pratical uses for the device. It left most of us saying, predictably, "what the fuck?"

Most Disappointing Nintendo Announcement: No Mario Galaxy 2 in 2009

It's because they don't want it eating into the sales of New Super Mario Bros. Wii, which is a terrible reason. The games will appeal to different people, and as a bonus, Nintendo fans like me will buy them both. Miyamoto said that the game is basically finished but they're holding off until 2010. They'd better release that thing quick. Now I have to finally beat Mario Galaxy with Luigi (which, at times, is really hard).

Best 3rd Party Nintendo Game: Maramusa: The Demon Blade

It's like Odin Sphere without the alchemy. It's beautiful, and plays extremely well. What sets the game apart from other hack 'n' slash games is that your character accrues a number of swords during his or her journey, and when they break in combat, you must use your other swords. Merely unsheathing a sword does damage to opponents and can be worked into combat strategically, and you don't have to wait for a sword to break before switching. Swords "heal" over time, so you never outright lose a weapon. They all have different special attacks, though, so discovering them best combat options for a given situation is tantamount to success. Need I mention again that Maramusa looks stunning? High-res 2D sprites and incredible particle effects combine to create possibly the prettiest game at the show.

Now we'll do the Sony awards. You could basically call these the "non-Nintendo" awards because in many cases, these are multi-platform games. I'll be talking about them from the Sony perspective because I don't own an Xbox 360, and Halo: ODST has not compelled me to do so.

Best PS3 Game: Batman: Arkham Asylum

I want this game so bad. I was already excited before the show, but after having played it, this really is a must-buy. The game's three big names (Batman, the Joker, and Harley Quinn) are all voiced by their animated series counterparts, which kicks ass. Combat is fairly simple but will surprise you. Press Square plus a direction (toward an opponent) allows you to pull off a big branching combo which uses a dynamic location-based animation string. Batman will punch an approaching thug in the face, then kick a dude in the side, then elbow the guy behind him, all with the Square button! Counters can be executed with Triangle to keep the combo going. The booth attendant told me that during big fights, you can string up a 100+ combo! The Dark Knight can also toss batarangs to destroy environmental objects and briefly knock out bad guys. The meat of the gameplay involves Detective Vision, which shows where enemies in a room are, whether they're armed or not, and what environmental objects you can interact with. By using this ability, you can plan out attacks and get through big rooms without even being seen! It's so cool. There are few things more awesome than silently dropping from a gargoyle behind a thug, sneaking up behind him, and knocking him out before leaping back into the darkness. The game launches in October, and the special edition includes a full-size batarang! Whoa!

Best PSP Game: LittleBigPlanet

If you liked LittleBigPlanet on the PS3 (and how could you not?), you'll love the PSP sequel, which tosses new continents at you (I played in Australia) but retains the basic gameplay, physics engine, and aesthetic of the console version. It will also retain Stephen Fry as the narrator and a robust level creator. Unforunately, at this time, you can't share levels between the PS3 and PSP games, but Media Molecule is working on a fix for this. I'm very excited about this game, as I loved the first game. Worth mentioning in this category is Soul Calibur: Broken Destiny, which is identicle in every way (including graphically) to Soul Calibur 4, which is just mind-blowing. It plays a little slower, but the game is still in development. The game will feature a smaller roster, but that roster includes a few new characters including--get this--Kratos from God of War. While not especially original, Broken Destiny is amazing from a technical perspective and is definately worth checking out.

Best Game That Keeps Having Problems: Brutal Legend

Tim Schafer is a genius. He gave us Escape from Monkey Island, Grim Fandango, and most recently, Psychonauts. Now he's made a brilliant, hilarious, beautiful game called Brutal Legend that tells the story of a rock-tastic roadie named Eddie who is transported to a world where every rock/metal cover you've ever seen is part of an enormous overworld. The demo was incredible and completely sold me on the game. However, it's already had problems finding a publisher after Activision dropped it (probably because they couldn't annually whore it out) and now EA has picked it up, but Activision just sued because now they regret the decision. According to Tim Schafer, "If Activision liked it, they should've put a ring on it." Well said, sir. The game is supposed to launch in October, but Activision is trying to delay it with their lawsuit.

Best Game Not Demo'd: Modern Warfare 2

I don't particularly care for Activision, but they are publishing Modern Warfare 2, so I guess that's pretty nice. The sequel to my favorite FPS of all time comes out on October 11th, and I'm totally psyched. The Activision booth just had a repeating trailer for the game, and it looks incredible. It will follow the same kind of "summer movie" flow that the first one did, with a new storyline. Your character in CoD4 ("Soap" McTavish) is now your superior officer, and Al'Ahsad (who you killed in the first game) is now seen as a martyr in the Middle East, and tensions are yet again on the rise thanks to Al'Ahsad's second-in-command, Mackevoy. You'll travel to Rio, Siberia, and what appears to be Europe during Modern Warfare 2, and Infinity Ward aims to top the thrills and heart-pounding moments of Call of Duty 4 this November.

Biggest Third-Party Disappointment: No Jade at the Ubisoft Conference

I don't really give two craps about Raving Rabbids and Avatar. I was impressed by Assassin's Creed 2 (loved the first game), and TMNT: Smash Up was kind of disappointing. I was banking on Ubisoft showing off Beyond Good & Evil 2 after that leaked trailer on Kotaku a few weeks ago (I'm convinced it's BG&E2), but there was no such luck. Even worse, the Ubisoft booth had a poster for the original BG&E up, demonstrating that it was one of their key franchises, but nobody at the Ubisoft booth knew where Jade was this year. I can only hope that they announce something about the game by the end of the year. I was also surprised that Ubisoft didn't roll out a teaser trailer for a sequel to Prince of Persia.

Most Useless Hardware Upgrade: PSP Go!

This long-rumored PSP reboot is finally here, and it was playable on the show floor. The PSP Go is a slider in that you slide the screen up to reveal the face buttons, which are now ridiculously small and packed together. The screen itself is smaller and more square than the current PSP model, and the system does away completely with a UMD drive, which means its software is exclusively DLC. Supposedly, Sony is trying to figure out a way for players to use their existing UMD-based games on the new system, probably with an optional peripheral. I played LittleBigPlanet on the PSP Go and quickly came to dislike the small, closely-packed button layout. The analog nub is virtually in the center of the system shell, and the face buttons are small and shallow--they reminded me of the GBA SP buttons. The PSP Go features 16 gigs of flash memory, which is nice I guess, but I get by just fine with my 2 gig Memory Stick Duo. The Go's biggest stumbling block, I'm afraid, is its price point: $250. Sony does NOT know how to price their hardware.

Game of Show: Selasphorus rufus

Despite all those awesome games, the best part of the whole show was seeing my very first hummingbird, fluttering around the flowers outside the convention center. Based on the coloration (and a little online research), I tentatively identified the tiny bird as Selasphorus rufus, which ranges down the West Coast. What's most awesome is that it seemed totally unafraid of people, and I was able to get mere inches away from it with my DSi camera. As soon as I find myself an SD card reader for my computer, I'll post the pictures.

BG&E Fans: Pay Attention

Just click the link and soak it in.

Gaming News I Care About

"This is Earthend!"

Patapon 2 hits stores on May 5th. Bizarrely, Sony will be releasing it as DLC-only ($20). Even more bizarrely, you will still be able to go to Best Buy and buy the box. The box will include an instruction booklet and a download voucher. I can only assume this means Patapon 2 will not be an enormous game, space-wise. I'm very excited, for two reasons. First, Patapon may be my favorite PSP game, and one of most artistically brilliant games to hit any console ever. Second, it'll be the first time I've switched my PSP on in months. Sony just doesn't know how to support that machine. That's not all, though. Sony is rumored to be getting a real PSP sequel ready for release (PSP "Go!") that will lack a UMD slot entirely. The plan here, allegedly, is that Sony will begin releasing the most popular PSP games on the PSN. We're gonna need a bigger Memory Stick Duo...I'll probably learn more at E3 (I'm going to E3 this year).

Look, it's Mr. Fat!

I love my DSi. I really do, but I wish Nintendo would support it. The only notable DS release in the past...well, as long as I can remember...has been Pokemon Diamond, and it was released a few weeks before the DSi. I'd like those DSi-enhanced games Nintendo promised to come out sooner rather than later. Another point of contention: the DSiWare released so far has sucked. Tech demos and terrible "minigames" that they can't bring themselves to charge more than $5 for (and honestly, that's too much). Japan is getting a real DSi Virtual Console with classic GB/A games. Bring that over here, Nintendo of America! Don't sit on your damn duffs! Get with the program and remind me why the DSi is so awesome!

This is what happens when worlds collide!

Break out the champaigne bottles: Marvel vs. Capcom 2 is coming to the PSN and Xbox Live. IT will come "unlocked," with all 50+ characters available from the get-go. This is one of the most celebrated 2D fighters of all time, and I'm very excited about this. It's the superior Dreamcast code that's being ported over, with some interesting graphical improvements to compensate for the HD age. Players will have the option of playing with the original pixels, smoothed pixels, or yet smoother pixels. The game will not be coming to the Wii because of file size limitations. The game will cost $15 (must want), include a few different online modes, and support widescreen displays. I generally suck at 2D fighters (see Street Fighter, King of Fighters, and King of the Monsters) but as I recall, this one was pretty kickass.

All your Wesker are belong to us.

I'm still playing RE5--I just can't stop. In fact, I feel guilty for not playing my other games, like Bioshock and LittleBigPlanet. But here's the thing: I fucking love RE5. As if the main campaign doesn't provide enough excitement and replayability (Professional difficulty is a bitch), the online Versus mode is just as fun. It's basically Mercenaries with up to three other people, all competing for points. The only thing that drags Versus down is that you will sometimes end up playing with people in a game in Slayers (kill the zombies) who think they're playing Survivors (kill each other). So you're busy creating an awesome chain of zombie kills and suddenly some deuchbag comes up and starts shooting you in the back. What the fuck, man?! Kill zombies like you're supposed to! I really need to dig my headset out and start cursing these idiots during gameplay. Although I doubt they're going to stop. Then, if you kill them for being a cock, their mission in life becomes vengeance. God, I hate those morons. But when you get a group of good-natured people in a game, it's a great time!

If any of you readers out there want to join me for a rousing round of zombie-killin', my PSN handle is "Sillysaur." We shall battle together...for great justice!

Why Dead Space Works, Silent Hill Doesn't, and Resident Evil Switched Gears

Even though I don't get a chance to play horror games very often, that genre includes some of my favorite video games. When done right, the horror genre sucks you in like no other. It's something about the darkness, the ambient noise, and the isolation that puts you right in the character's head and makes you jump at every snapped twig. Up until now, two genres have dominated the "survival horror" genre: Resident Evil and Silent Hill. Both are absolute powerhouses in their own way, but one has evolved into a new genre and the other has languished behind the crowd because of its outdated gameplay mechanics. And then you have a new contender from EA of all places which promises to reinvent the genre itself.

Resident Evil started the whole "survival horror" trend and largely took its cues from Alone in the Dark--cinematic camera angles, puzzle-solving, 2D backgrounds with 3D character models. The first RE game set the tone for most of the series to come. Its scares came mostly in two types: "It's just the cat" seat-jumpers and the stress of knowing that you probably don't have enough ammo to survive the next encounter. It's what you might call "apprehensive" horror. The series continued in this vein for four iterations before beginning to change in RE4. But what RE never focused on was psychological horror, the kind of fear that is instilled over time so that when the big moment comes, you're already seconds from wetting your pants. You need atmosphere for this kind of horror, and it's honestly difficult to pull off.

But Silent Hill has always been up to that task. Placing atmosphere above everything else (including gameplay), the team behind (most of) the series knows how to craft an eerie game. Blood-stained walls, screams in the distance, view-obscuring fog, and mutilated creatures that evoke terror, loathing, and pity are the stars here. It's all atmosphere, all the time in Silent Hill. Unforunately, the gameplay shambles along slower than any Racoon City zombie. The focus on melee combat slows the pace to a crawl, and the series' indoor levels, while wonderfully gory and "wrong, somehow," are littered with locked doors and tedious progression schemes.

And now we have a new kid on the block--EA's Dead Space, a game that combines the psychological horror of Silent Hill with the frantic gunplay of Resident Evil. But thanks to its next-gen presentation, Dead Space enters the playing field with a bang. The game takes place in an enormous mining space station, where the inhabitants were slaughtered and their corpses transformed into twisted, clawed amalgamations of their former selves. Between the surprise encounters with deadly beasts, players are treated to tense audio recordings of former crew members recalling what happened to their home (and each other), text logs of the doomed mining operation, and hallucinations (or are they?) of your character's lost love. The musical score keeps you on edge and the ship's ambient noises will ensure that you're always checking behind your shoulder for things that go bump in the night.

Thankfully, the gameplay doesn't faulter. Although heavily in favor of gunplay (though melee attacks are present), players are tasked with carefully managing their ammo reserves and shooting precisely. You can't kill these monsters by filling them with lead--you must dismember them to be victorious. You are able to run, aim, and shoot at the same time, which is an enormous step up from Resident Evil (aim and shoot, but don't move) and Silent Hill (gunplay is virtually an afterthought) and manages to maintain the tension.

The latest entry in the Resident Evil series, RE5, continues the trend set by RE4 and changes further from a horror game into an action one. Its pace is similar to an adventure movie, and the addition of two-player co-op (online and off!) means that Capcom can focus on throwing more enemies at you at a time. RE4's strength was that, unlike its predecessors, it overwhelmed the player with guns and ammo, but then threw just enough enemies your way so that you never really felt comfortable. RE5 retains that feature, but the addition of a second player means that even MORE baddies swarm you, and they're more intelligent than they were in RE4. This is the same kind of "apprehension" fear that RE4 had, but instead of dealing with too little ammo, you're dealing with too many bad guys. Neither RE4 or RE5 have any real "scare" moments. There are a few seat-jumpers, but as usual, very little in the way of atmosphere. The sense of scale is impressive--RE5 loves to throw gigantic setpieces your way. But the Resident Evil series has moved beyond the "survival horror" genre and is becoming an action series. That's fine by me, and it works well for both RE4 and RE5.

The king of tension is still the king of tension, but not a lot else. Silent Hill: Homecoming upped the ante from a graphical perspective but kept all the old PS2-calibur gameplay choices, and that really weighs the game down. Trying a hundred doors before you get to an open one is just annoying, and having to get up close and personal to dangerous enemies in order to deal damage to them (melee combat) just isn't fun. There is the option for gunplay, but ammo is still scarce. The player has new combat abilities including dodges (actually present in SH4) and counter-attacks, but in general, combat is an activity best avoided. Homecoming will be fun for series veterans, but newcomers will likely warm to RE5 or Dead Space before this latest Silent Hill jaunt. This is not to say that Homecoming is a bad game--it's just archaic. But in order to regain fans, the series will definately need to evolve.

Dead Space is already getting a prequel for the Wii called Dead Space: Extraction. Although technically a rail shooter, EA cautions that it will be unlike any rail shooter that's come before, and all of the abilities of the first game, including stasis and kinetics, will return here. The game looks absolutely incredible: EA has broken the "Wii" barrier for graphics. Interestingly, the Wii is also getting another RE game, a sequel to Umbrella Chronicles called Darkside Chronicles which will likely focus on parts of the RE storyline left out in Umbrella Chronicles (most of RE2, Code Veronica, maybe RE4). Finally, even Silent Hill is showing up on the Wii soon. A remake of the original PSOne game is on the way, called Silent Hill: Shattered Promises. It will not be a rail shooter, but aside from its remake status, details are scarce. Anyway, it's a good time to be a horror fan, as there are lots of choices right now!

Crystal Dynamics Can Suck It

Remember when certain games or franchises were exclusive to certain platforms? Like Metal Gear Solid 4: you'll never see it on the Xbox 360, or Mario being synonymous with Nintendo. Well, a new, horrifying chapter in the exclusivity wars has just begun. Now companies offering DLC for software on one, but not the other, console. Example: Tomb Raider: Underworld is on both the Xbox 360 and PS3. This month, 360 players will be able to download an expansion pack called "Under the Ashes" which will include about five hours of new content and a whole bunch of new costumes for Lara. Awesome, right? Here's where things get crappy: PS3 owners are missing out. The DLC is exclusive to the 360 version of the game. And that's not the only story like this. Fallout 3 is doing the same kind of thing. PC and 360 gamers are getting brand new additions to the Wasteland while PS3 owners get the shaft.

Meanwhile, Ubisoft realizes that gamers don't like being jerked around like this, and is offering a Prince of Persia expansion pack (tomorrow!) for both the 360 and PS3. I'm mad because I have a PS3, Underworld, and Fallout 3, and I'm totally missing out on awesome DLC because Crystal Dynamics and Bethesda were happy to accept a big fat check from Microsoft and snuff half their install bases.

Activision Taking the "Tony Hawk" Approach to Guitar Hero

Wow, Activision. You guys really know how to run a brand into the ground. Take one of my favorite franchises: Guitar Hero. It started off strong enough on the PS2 with Guitar Hero and became an overnight success in November of '05. That "instant-classic" status warranted a sequel just over a year later, Guitar Hero 2, which was released on the PS2 and Xbox 360 in November '06. These two games were published by RedOctane and developed by Harmonix.

But after that, things got ugly. Activision bought out RedOctane, and Harmonix moved on. The franchise was overtaken by Neversoft, the same people who brought you the Tony Hawk's Pro Skater series. And they proceeded to cannibalize the series. About six months after Guitar Hero 2 hit the shelves, Guitar Hero Encore: Rock the 80's was a PS2-exclusive expansion pack to GH2 that included about 30 songs, all from the 80's, and virtually no unlockable content. However, Guitar Hero Encore improved one aspect of the series. While GH2 included only two master recordings ("John the Fisherman" and "Stop!"), but Encore brought five.

Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock is where Activision goes crazy. Released on the PS2, Wii, 360, and PS3 in October '07, the game includes online play, an enormous setlist of over 70 songs and, on the 360 and PS3, downloadable songs. Additionally, avatars of Tom Morello and Slash appear in the game. By all accounts, Legends is a superior game to GH2 in every way--although the last track set is insanely hard. The game was an overwhelming sales success, and Activision quickly pushed Guitar Hero: Aerosmith out the door in June '08. While it's difficult to call the game anything but a sidenote to the main series, Aerosmith did some important things. First, the entire band took part in facial rendering and mo-cap. Also, Aerosmith's Wii version was developed independantly of the PS2 version, which resulted in a better experience for Wii owners, who had previously been treated to a port of the PS2 version of Legends of Rock.

So then Activision asked, "Why not the DS?" Guitar Hero: On Tour hit stores also in June of '08. It featured an amalgamation of new content and songs from Legends packed onto a DS card and retrofitted with an ergonomically unsound "Guitar Grip" peripheral that is unkind to all but those with the thinnest of hands and fingers. Of course, just a few months later (November), Guitar Hero On Tour: Decades was released with a new setlist (several songs from World Tour). Meanwhile, back on the console front, Activision needed to catch up with Harmonix, who had gone on to found the insanely popular Rock Band franchise. Activision needed a full-band game, and quick, so Guitar Hero: World Tour was launched in October of '08 for the PS2, Wii, 360, and PS3. The game is compatible with two guitars, a microphone, and a drum kit. Many, many of Neversoft's drum kits didn't work properly (or at all) out of the gate, and Activision's replacement strategy made the problem much, much worse.

And more games are coming.

The DS is getting a threequel called Modern Hits, which will have an incredibly short lifespan because the DSi, an upgrade to the DS Lite which does away with the GBA slot, comes out in April and will not be compatible with the DS Guitar Hero games. Activision is also planning two sidequests for the consoles: Guitar Hero: Metallica is set to release in March of '09 and will, like the Aerosmith game before it, focus mainly on a single band. Unlike Aerosmith, however, Metallica will not be bundled with a guitar controller. Finally, Activision just announced Guitar Hero: Greatest Hits, which will compile songs from Guitar Hero and Guitar Hero 2 for the full band treatment.

When you include every version of every game, the Guitar Hero franchise has racked up eighteen games since November of '05, and at least eight more games will come out in the next year. It didn't take Neversoft long to wring all the money they could out of the Tony Hawk brand, and I fear they'll take the same road with Guitar Hero.