Saturday, August 30, 2008

Fallout 3, By the Way, is Kickass



Went to a Bethesda big-screen presentation of Fallout 3 today. Among other things, you can target specific body parts on enemies and do what the screenshot shows. Fallout 3 is beyond awesome, Erik. My GOD, it's gorgeous. It comes out in late October. I am PSYCHED.

Heating Up the Presidential Race


I'm sure all of you readers out there in Readerland have been dying to hear my opinion on John McCain, who witnessed man's discovery of fire, hand-selecting my governor, miss Sarah Palin, as his running mate. Because, you know, this blog is so politically driven. I think I've blogged about one, maybe two political issues in the past. But this one is special, because I like Sarah a lot. She's a great governor so far, and she's hot. Yeah, I said it. Our governor is the cutest politician in American politics working today. So I'm proud of her for being nominated for this awesome position, but also happy that she's so darn cute, and will be on TV more often.
But I think John McCain just shot himself in the foot! The whole election so far, his biggest beef with Obama has been that Barack is "too young and inexperienced." Well, what do you call Sarah?! She was the mayor of Wasilla before being elected governor of Alaska, just two years ago, and she was elected mainly because we all hated Frank Murkowski. She's also hot. It's nice to have a good-looking woman running the state, especially since she runs it so well.
Sarah is 44 years young. That's younger than my own mother! Also, all of her political experience has been in Alaska. I don't know if any of you are familiar with Alaskan politics, but they're a bit different than in other places. Our laws are based on those of Washington and California (mostly), but really, it's a whole different ball game out here. So I don't know how well Sarah would handle federal, country-wide politics. That's not a knock against Mrs. Palin, it's just that she's not experienced enough for the Big Time. Maybe McCain should've waited until Sarah got a seat on the senate one day. But by then, our GOP boy might have keeled over.
Johnny boy is 72 years old. The average lifespan of an American male is 80. McCain's pushing it already! Now, he certainly looks healthy enough, but let's pretend, God forbid, that our boy has a heart attack and dies while in office. Will Sarah be able to take over? That's a huge responsibility! There's Alaska, and then there's the entire freaking country. With a few years of mayoral experience, and two years of governing experience, does Sarah have what it takes to be the Commander-in-Chief? I love 'er, lord know, but probably not.
But McCain can't back out now. He might've just handed the election to Obama, though.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Pterosaur Digits

Folks, a fella named Jim Cunningham email me today, suggesting that pterosaurs lost their thumb (rather than their pinkies), and that the wing finger is actually Digit V. This seems false. From what I've read and have been told, pterosaurs lost their fifth finger, and that they retained fingers II-IV. But after telling Jim this, he responded thusly:

"Pterosaurs have no thumb. It was the one that was lost. The digits are I, II, III, & IV with IV being the pinky finger which is also the wingfinger. If you'd rather not believe me, you might ask Chris Bennett, Kevin Padian, Wann Langston Jr., Peter Wellnhofer, John Conway, Mike Habib, Dave Unwin, or Greg Paul. Conway will be off on his honeymoon this coming week, so he probably won't respond immediately. All the best."

Those are some big names. Have I been wrong all these years?

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

"Dinosauriforms"


Dinosauriforms like Silesaurus and Eucoelophysis and that...you know...hopping one (lower left, above) don't form a coherent group, right? They're the rhamphorhynchoids of the dinosaurs, yes? That is, they form a paraphyletic grade of stepwise forms leading from...something...to Dinosauria, correct? Have there been any large-scale studies of "dinosauriforms" as a whole?

Irony: The Revenge

Less than 12 hours after posting my rant about how Best Buy Dot Com and the USPS suck a big juicy one (see below), what should show up at my door but Soulcalibur IV? For those who haven't bought it yet and are on the fence about whether or not to get the special or standard edition, let me tell you what's in the big tin box:

1) An awesome tin box with a hinged lid and a plastic sleeve. Honestly, I'll probably toss the plastic sleeve. Not because I don't like it, but because it's going to be a hassle to unsleeve the tin box before opening the tin box to get to the PS3 game case, which the disk is in...

2) An awesome reversable poster. On one side, art. On the other side, a tournament bracket. They even threw in a Sharpie-like mini marker for presiding over tournaments. Sadly, the poster is not laminated, so you'll want to get it laminated before writing on it with a marker pen. For those of you without enough friends for a proper tournament, the art side is pretty cool by itself.

3) A comic/art book of fair quality. The book is divided into two halves: a kind of silly comic introducing series newbie Hilde (the art is mediocre) and a bunch of character sketches, which I find interesting. They went through a lot of concepts for Ivy's new costume. None of them are too much different than the final version, but I like to see the subtle differences.

4) A card with a code on it for downloading exclusive content onto your PS3. This exclusive content, from what I've read, includes the "true" versions of the Soul Calibur and Soul Edge, joke weapons for all the characters, and some new costume choices for the create-a-character mode.

5) The game, of course.

All told, well worth the extra $10. If any of you out there have Soulcalibur IV on your PS3 already, my PSN name is "Sillysaur." Leave yon monker in the comments section (or email me) and we shall battle! It will be glorious!

Begging for Euparkeria

Hey, does anybody out there have a PDF of the original description, or perhaps a redescription of that most basal of archosaurs, Euparkeria? It's more for Scott than me, although I'd be lying if I said I didn't also want to read about the little scamp.

EDIT: I have the greatest readers in the world. A thousand thank you's, guys. Scott sends his gratitude as well.

Pardon My Irritation

The whole Best Buy snafu has gotten me thinking. I must share my newly acquired wisdom to others. This wisdom may be accompanied by massive doses of cynicism.

1) Never, ever order anything online using the cheapest possible shipping method. Your most affordable choice at Best Buy Dot Com is $3.00. Your package should arrive about two weeks later. It will not. Rather, it will appear at your door roughly five weeks later, as I discovered to my horror. Your package will travel not via plane or truck, but tortoise. Yes, your book, movie, or video game will be strapped to the back of the common desert tortoise (Gopherus agassizii). This hearty terrapin, the successor of the horseback rider of the Old West, wanders the American southwest more or less at its leisure, stopping often to sleep, eat, and simply stop moving (it's a turtle, for Godsake). At some point, this turtle will more or less accidentally reach Washington State--a miracle, considering that Gopherus agassizii is a desert tortoise. The tortoise will then be tripped over by a United States Post Office employee, who, noticing the now-decrepid package, will pluck said parcel from the tired tortoise's shell and toss it onto a passing barge.

This barge only leaves the port twice a week (no, really). Its course takes it all over the world, including, I suspect, Antarctica. Its last destination will always be your house. Always. The package will be delivered to your house long after you've forgotten what it was you ordered, or even that you ordered anything in the first place. Thus, it's a nice surprise to see a package on your porch at all.

So fuck you, Best Buy Dot Com, for lying to me about when my package would arrive. Their estimate suggested that my package would arrive between August 12th and August 18th. That's damn good, considering I ordered the thing on the 7th. But hey--why would Best Buy Dot Com lie? If they knew it would take longer, or even if they didn't, wouldn't it be better to suggest a later date, thus ensuring a happy customer? I mean, if you think it's going to arrive in three weeks, why not say four? And besides, if you said four, I might be more inclined to pay the higher shipping fee, which brings me to point #2.

2) The United States Postal Service is inefficient and money-grubby. These are the people who require up to 48 hours to "process" anything. From what I've been told, processing amounts to slapping an address sticker on a box, then scanning that sticker's barcode into a computer. If you don't give the USPS enough money, they will strap your package to the back of a fucking tortoise. How much money will it take to upgrade that from late-surviving anapsid to actual flying vehicle? Oh, not a whole lot, just a 500% increase in shipping cost. That's right, kids: If I want my package to arrive in a timely manner, a manner which some might consider reasonable, I get to shell out $16 instead of $3. So here are my options: $3 for absolutely shit, or $16 for acceptable. And God forbid I would want my package the next day. That would cost $25. And because Best Buy lies to me, I should probably add at least a week to those approximate times. So, in all fairness:

Option One: Your package moves from one end of the United States to the other at the speed of a glacier--Three Dollars.

Option Two: Your package is tossed into the cargo bay of an airplane and probably arrives at your doorstep in about two weeks--Sixteen Dollars.

Option Three: Your package is given the direct-flight treatment, or at least as direct as you can get in the airports these days--Twenty-five Dollars.

So here's my question, USPS: In an age where we can put a man on the moon, grow genetically modified foods to end world hunger, split the atom, and cure terrible diseases, what year do YOU think it is? I guess mail trucks are great, but it's not a huge step up from those horseback riders from yonder days. How much of the process is automated? How much more automated could it stand to be? And why have my stamps risen in price so dramatically within the last few years? Between the forty-six cent stamps and the sixteen dollar shippings costs, I expect a whole lot better.

But perhaps I'm forgetting that the United States Postal Service is run by the Federal Government. There's even a "Postmaster General," a job I imagine does not require any sort of advanced degree or that much time in the office. So maybe I shouldn't be that surprised that the USPS is so inefficient and lazy--it's handled by the United States government.

Fun Fact: You know why we don't get mail on Sundays? According to Wikipedia, churches noticed a drop in Sunday mass attendance because some of their convent worked as mail carriers. And because Sunday is the Day o' Rest, that's not allowed. Our government, always happy to blur the line between church and state, buckled under the pressure as a soda can would a vehicle tire.

This is the part where I suggest that my readers abandon the USPS as much as possible. There are plenty of other mail carriers out there. UPS, FedEx, DHL to name a few. And I have consistently found that those three are far faster and more competant than the USPS. Sure, there are exceptions. It doesn't cost you an extra dime to send back a NetFlix movie or recieve a magazine in your mailbox. But if you have packages to send, just don't use the USPS.

So, to conclude, Best Buy Dot Com is run by lying liers who lie, and the USPS is a broken, worthless system. And no, I still have not recieved Soulcalibur IV. And as of tonight, at least, it has not yet reached Anchorage. But hey, who's counting?

Friday, August 22, 2008

Eowyvern dorsetti


Known in South Africa for years as the "caped dragon," Nielson provided the first description of Eowyvern dorsetti in 1929. Given that so few wyverns were known at the time (only Fugaxotitan and Gracilopterus predate it in the literature), Nielson was at first unsure of how to categorize the creature. At a mere six feet long, Eowyvern is slightly larger than Gracilopterus but much heavier, and completely flightless. Its build it far more dinosaurian than wyvernian given its functionally tridactyl pes, reduced hallux, facultatively bipedal (and horizontal) posture. Nielson even considered a connection with Aves, suggesting that Eowyvern was, perhaps, an ancestral relic of birds, surviving to the present. Perhaps not surprisingly, this possibility was briefly revived and endorsed by Feduccia in 1996. However, Nielson eventually placed Eowyvern at the base of the Wyvernia, a location it has not moved from since. Although some workers believe that Eowyvern represents a more modern wyvern which has become secondarily flightless, the current concensus is that it represents an incredibly basal lineage.

The most obviously basal feature of the animal are its wings. More like a pterosaur than a wyvern, Eowyvern's patagium is attached to a single extended digit IV, and the patagium extends down to the end of the ribcage on the body. The wing is incredibly small and has no flight capabilities. Digits II and III are long and move more or less as a single unit. Digit I is opposable. The arms themselves are not particularly long, and a propagagium extends from the wrist to the shoulder, strengthened by a thick tendon. Eowyvern is surprisingly broad-chested, unlike the deep-chested flighted wyverns, and long-bodied. The legs are powerful and tridactyl, making Eowyvern the most cursorial of all wyverns (or dragons). The skull is fairly small given the animal's overall size, and is equipped with numerous dagger-like teeth. The snout is blunt and subrectangular, more like dragons than wyverns. The eyes posess a fair degree of binocular vision. Eowyvern has a stout, powerfully-muscled neck.

The creature is undeniably predatory, often chasing down medium-sized mammalian herbivores such as boars and young or sick antelope. Eowyvern has been known to share territory with Tauropesa ungulatus, although Brimely (1953) noted that, given the latter's larger size and more aggressive attitude, Eowyvern always backs down from a direct confrontation. Eowyvern attacks prey with its hands extended, grabbing prey and tearing away a chunk of meat with its teeth before letting go. The target often dies of shock and bloodloss within a short time. The wyvern is not above scavenging carcasses, either.

Switek (1978) was lucky enough to observe several instances of wing use in Eowyvern. These observations are very powerful, in that they may allow draconologists to study how the wing structure evolved in more derived wyverns. In one instance, a large male Eowyvern had extended its wings, which had become brightly colored, to a female who he was courting. The male stood fully upright, or at least as upright as it could get, and "shivered" its wings in an attempt to show off the bright breeding stripes which had lit up the patagium's underside. The normal-colored female seemed unimpressed, and eventually ran away. In another instance, Switek watched as a female shaded her brood with her wings. The hatchling wyverns were small but looked much like their mother aside from larger relative eyes and proportionately longer hind limbs. However, at no time did Switek observe a wyvern flapping its wings or making use of the wings in any way that would suggest a precursor for flight. Switek reasoned that perhaps over the millenia, Eowyvern, in finding no use for flight-related activities, had lost such behaviors entirely, and that its own uses for its wings had developed apart arboreal needs. Switek's paper is interesting in that he only discusses Eowyvern for about two-thirds of the paper, and spends the last third complaining about the his institution (wink!).

Eowyvern continues to be a point of fascination today. In an upcoming publication on wyvern genetics, Milnar & Fries hope to accurately pinpoint the "first wyvern" on an extent family tree.

References:

Nielson, L. (1929). Comments on the "cape dragon" of South Africa. Brevia (February): 45-52.

Feduccia, A. (1996). Eowyvern dorsetti: evidence for the ancestry of birds. Bulletin of Zoological Curiosities 47: 468-473.

Brimley, W. (1953). Co-occurance of Eowyvern and Tauropesa. Brevia (June): 34-37.

Switek, B. (1978). Observations on wing use in Eowyvern. European Journal of Draconology 68(4): 533-539.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Archosauria, I Presume?



Is that an external mandibular fenestra I see? How well-known is the skull of Dimorphodon? I've always questioned the relationship between archosaurs and pterosaurs based on the apparent lack of mandibular fenestrae, but if Dimorphodon actually has such a feature, then I may have to change my tune!

Hello, Old Friend


One of the reasons I'm all excited to have a PS3 is that I'll be able to play Silent Hill: Homecoming this holiday season. I've never played a series that understood psychological horror like Silent Hill does. At any rate, my excited skyrocketed today when Game Informer posted a bunch of new screenshots portraying some of the game's more ghastly creatures. Be warned: some of the monsters are not for the shallow of stomach. I can't wait to see these demonic entities shiver and spasm, quiver and quake.
And then the last few screenshots really upped my happiness: Pyramid Head, one of my favorite creatures from the series, makes a return appearance here. Exactly how he'll be connected to the storyline is unknown, but he has traditionally represented one's inner brutality and guilt. Since the game's protagonist is a returning veteran, Pyramid Head seems fitting.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Alaska: The Eighth Continent

Listen, dear readers, to my tale of woe:

So, on the 7th, I ordered the special edition of Soulcalibur IV from Best Buy online. I did this because (1) I'm a sucker for anything that says "special edition;" and (2) nobody in town had the special edition in stock. In fact, to this day, it's difficult to find the standard edition in Anchorage. At any rate, I paid the $2.99 shipping charge because it was that or a $16 shipping charge. My choices were a bit constrained. This is something I will never, ever do again.

My order confirmation suggests that my package will arrive between the 12th and the 18th, which I, perhaps stupidly, believe. Thus the days ramble on with no Soulcalibur in sight, and eventually I come to accept that my game will not arrive until the days leading up to the 18th. Note that it's the 18th today. At any rate, I take to perpetually checking the status of the package's journey online. This epic trek began somewhere in Ohio, where the game was moved from Best Buy's warehouse to Cincinnati, and on the 9th, it was "processed."

And there it stayed, as "processed," for the next nine days. I was ready to call and yell at somebody this morning when I noted with glee that, as of today, it had been processed and shipped from Washington state. But I could get no further information from the tracking website, and I could reach no human voice on the phone. So I ran to the post office today in hopes of finding more information.

They were able to tell me that the package was shipped by boat, not plane, and the trip from Washington to Alaska could take as long as a week. And I imagine, as I am now extremely cynical, that the trip from the Anchorage harbor to my mailbox could take another week. Hell, maybe they'll dock in Seward, then drive it up to Anchorage. There's gotta be a slower way. Maybe toss my package on a canoe and let the mailman explore the streams and rivers between Seward and Anchorage, stopping every so often to rest, eat, sleep, and hike between the waterways. I have resigned to the idea that I will not be playing Soulcalibur IV until I return from PAX. In September. Thus, by casting my expectation that far forward, I will not be disappointed but pleasently surprised to find the package on my front porch before that date.

A similar problem has held up my fossil cat book. Of the three books ordered last week (longer?), one of them was on backorder, but rather than send that book separately, Barnes & Nobel wisely held on to both of the other books, choosing instead to send all three at the same time. This package will not be sent out until August 26th, eight days from now, and two days before PAX. I was hoping to take this book with me on the plane!

So I'm now torn about ordering ANYTHING online. The company can be extremely slow to ship the order out, and when it IS shipped out, the United States Postal Service is extremely slow to deliver it. Haven't we gotten the point in our development as a society that we can move a package from one end of the country to the other in less than three to five weeks? We can put a man on the moon, but a cheap, reliable mail delivery system is beyond our grasp.

But here's the real icing on the cake: Mike Gamin, one of my NWR colleagues, shipped me a DS game to review called Izuna 2 (it's not that great). Mike lives in New York, which is seemingly farther toward the opposite end of the country than Ohio. Mike sent this game after I'd ordered Soulcalibur, and Izuna 2 arrived last Thursday. I don't think he spent more than $5 on the shipping costs. Does two freaking dollars make that much of a difference? And is there really no other alternative than "slow as a one-legged dog" shipping ($3) and "we'll get it to you within the week" ($16) shipping?

So yeah, frustration is setting in. My expectation is not being met. It's not like I don't have any games to play during the waiting period (actually, I've got quite the backlog), but worrying about it isn't doing me any favors, either. I don't even care about the game anymore. I care more about getting the damn thing and putting it out of my mind, if that makes sense.

Backlog: Call of Duty 4 (PS3), MGS4 (PS3), Odin Sphere (PS2), Fatal Frame 2: Crimson Butterfly (PS2), Fatal Frame 3: The Tormented (PS2), Super Mario Galaxy (Wii), Virtually all of my Virtual Console games (Wii), Professor Layton & the Curious Village (DS), Space Invaders Extreme (DS).

Sunday, August 17, 2008

I can't think of a subject line for this!

Holy Mother of I Dunno What. Here's a question for you: If God is loving and kind and all that good stuff, why does S/He let this kind of shit happen? Why weren't all those crazy people in that crazy cult taken out by searing bolts of lightning?

Well, maybe the baby really was a demon. I guess that's entirely possible.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

SVP: Paid For

Hotel: Check
Plane Ticket: Check
Conference Registration: Check
Probability that I'll be doing this on an annual basis: Very low

I spread the cost over about three months to cover my ass, but honestly, it shouldn't be this pricey. Even with the SVP discount, the hotel room is still outrageous, I complained about the registration fee two days ago, and don't get me started on the plane ticket. I might head to SVP in years where I can take a more-or-less direct flight from Alaska (Washington, Chicago, California, etc.) but I don't think I'll be making yearly treks to SVP.

But now that the costs are covered, I'm very excited about October, and I hope to see all of my fellow paleo-bloggers! I might have a surprise in store for the show itself...

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

My Day is a Little Brighter, Now

Unless Soul Calibur 4 arrives in the mail today, this is gonna be hard to beat in terms of kickassary.

SVP is expensive!

Mother of GOD. $415 gets me WHAT, exactly? I essentially get to go to the conference. That's registration for the conference. Every English or rhetoric conference my wife attends has a $200 registeration fee. SVP has a $415 registration fee. Before August 28th. After that, the price skyrockets to $540. It's like buying another plane ticket.

So, here are my questions:

1) What the hell?
2) Does registration also make me a member of the society, and thus, do I get the journal?
3) If NOT, is that a completely separate ridiculous fee?
4) WHAT THE GODDAMN HELL?

I don't want to shell out this kind of moronic sum annually, especially when I don't plan on attending every meeting. Next year, for example, when the conference goes to Bristol, I will certainly not be attending (I hate traveling, especially long distances).

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Camera Help Wanted!

Okay, so I'm either terrible at taking pictures with my digital camera or there's something wrong with my digital camera. Please tell me which based on the following symptoms and also, how to improve my situation:

1) 90% of the time when I take a picture, it comes out blurry. Slightly blurry. Just blurry enough to be an annoyance. This happens both indoors and out. And I wait for the camera to focus. You know, I hold the button down until it flashes green (instead of yellow) before taking the shot. But even then...blur occurs.

2) I am simply unable to take pictures of small things, like my geckos or the wood frog from the other day (that picture was scavenged from the intertubes). I would love to show you guys my geckos in high-definition, but my camera won't cooperate. The more I zoom in, the worse the picture comes out.

3) When I use the auto-flash, the picture turns out really bright. When I don't use the auto-flash, the picture comes out very dark, unless there's lots of natural lighting, as in a window is behind me and the sun is shining.

Should I just get a new camera? I need to know these things for my potential trip to the Galapagos in January...and for the gecko pictures. Help meeee!

Slowly Learning to Read

I must like this "reading" thing, because I just bought another book online. The Big Cats and Their Fossil Relatives looks to be a sister tome to the dog book I bought a few weeks ago (which is awesome, by the way). Cat evolution is something I've always wondered about, moreso than dogs. I mean, dogs are great, but cats can drag carcasses up trees! And there were never any saber-toothed dogs. Also, after reading this book, I'm sure I'll be able to give Catsby a hard time for being a very, very lazy cat, and thus, an embarrassment to her wild ancestors.

Monday, August 11, 2008

That One Dinosaur Show...

At Brian's recommendation, I recorded the first two episodes of the History Channel's "Jurassic Fight Club." With some apprehension, I watched the first episode for twenty minutes before getting sick to my stomach and deleting it from the DVR's memory. I started the second one, and only lasted fifteen minutes. This is not a good sign. Here are problems, as I see them:

1) Dinosaur George (never heard of 'im) seems to like rampant speculation. His narrative was unappreciated. I preferred hearing from guys I've read papers by, like Thomas Holtz and Phil Currie. But this is clearly Dinosaur George's show, and he likes making everything an adventure.

2) Okay, so we're going to determine that, based on predatory birds, that a female Majungatholus was larger than the males. Great. But then, we're going to say that males were prettier than females...also based on modern birds (like domesticated turkeys!). However, in predatory birds, there is virtually no sexual dimorphism aside from body size. It's like the people who put the show together just jumbled a lot of facts together, and then forced those facts to fit a dinosaurian paradigm. This does not always work! Dinosaurs were different than modern animals.

3) There seemed to be budgetary constraints on the CGI. How many times are you going to show the exact same animation sequence? Oh wait, it was mirrored that time. Totally different. And in many cases, the CGI was awful. I can't begin to describe my problems with the tyrannosaurs in the second episode, both with Tyrannosaurus itself and Nanotyrannus. The latter, it would seem, did not have a bony pelvis, but instead a "waterwaist" that just flopped around while it walked. Awful, awful, awful.

4) Why haven't I heard anything about a juvenile T.rex with lots of broken bones? And how, exactly, is Nanotyrannus implicated in its death? Shed teeth? I have no idea. These finds are being presented without any kind of reference system. I liked especially how Dinosaur George discussed, at length, this brutal slaying of a juvenile T.rex, but none of the other talking heads mentioned the find. Would somebody point me in the direction of this beat-up juvenile T.rex?

5) The baby tyrannosaurs were just scaled-down versions of the adults. By the way, I have never seen a worse CG model of a Tyrannosaurus rex in my life. And I hated the Walking with Dinosaurs tyrannosaur. In 2008, a full seven years away from Walking with Dinosaurs, surely we're able to come up with better CG models of dinosaurs. Surely.

6) And maniraptorans should have feathers now. There's just no excuse anymore. The barenaked dromaeosaurs briefly shown in the tyrannosaur episode made me sad.

7) I'm always amazed at how shows on the Discovery Channel, History Channel, and Learning Channel are somehow able to take a paragraph of information and turn it into an hour-long show. Majungasaurus was a cannibal. We've got intraspecific remains with Majungasaurus tooth marks on it. There's no way to know whether the animal actively killed its cousin or just scavenged it. Happy? I can give you the references, too. And in doing so, I have just given you more information, and more accurate information, than was presented in the first episode of Jurassic Fight Club.

8) Surely there are topics about paleontology that would better occupy a 42-minute show. The extinction of the dinosaurs, or the end-Permian extinction, maybe. Or how about the rise of mammals following the extinction of the dinosaurs? Or the dynasty of the therapsids before the Permian extinction? And can we stop using horrible, bottom-of-the-barrel CGI? Remember that old "DINOSAUR!" show on PBS hosted by Christopher Reeve? It used Phil Tippet stop-motion animation for the dinosaur sequences. These stop-motion efforts were worlds better than the horrifying CG in virtually every dinosaur "documentary" that's come out since Walking with Dinosaurs.

9) I'm currently watching the DVD of the BBC's "Chased by Dinosaurs" series. It's more-or-less a follow-up to Walking with Dinosaurs, and I would go so far as to say it's more enjoyable. The technology is better, and thus the character models are better. The narration is more flowing because it's being narrated by a real guy, and the science is better. Flawed at times, sure, but better than Jurassic Fight Club. I'm not sure why Sarcosuchus ended up in Argentina, though.

Don't watch "Jurassic Fight Club." It's not worth your time! There are any number of better dinosaur shows out there, including that ancient PBS show.

More on the BCS

If any of you were wondering more about the Blue Collar Scientist's untimely passing,
look no further. I warn you, though, it's tough to read--especially if you knew the man.

A Persistant Misunderstanding

At least two of my readers (Sheryl and Glendon) currently think or have thought (respectively) that the dragons and wyverns and lindworms I write about are sculptures, sculptures that I have made. Nothing could be further from the truth. Anybody can buy these creatures at toy stores or comic shops. Or online.

What I do is make up scientific descriptions for these dragons and wyverns as if they were living animals. The McFarlane dragons have their own epic fantasy storyline, something about a hydra destroying the dragon kingdom and then humans gaining control of some magical stone and learning how to talk and...it's wierd. I'd prefer to think of these dragons as real animals, and I'm interested in how they might be related to each other. Incidentally, there are several McFarlane dragons I have not included (or bought) based on my preference for what dragons and wyverns are supposed to be. So I'm not sculpting these dragons, although whoever did is a great sculptor. I just try to give them life!

Wood Frog!


Last night, while loading some firewood into our shed, something hopped around the grass at my feet. I immediately suspected a moth, or perhaps injured dragonfly, but I was surprised to find a wood frog, Alaska's only ectothermic tetrapod. I grabbed the little amphibian and ran into the house. I put a bunch of my gecko's unused rock's in the cricket tank (there were no crickets), then filled the tank partially with water. Then in went the frog! It sat, barely moving, on one of the larger rocks before realizing that water was near. The frog scuried into the water and proceeded to float. Catsby realized that something was up and started meowing incesently.

I wanted to keep the frog, because during the winter, there's a good chance these frogs could die. They freeze themselves for two weeks at a time, but I felt sorry for the little guy. Gina reminded me that he'd probably rather be outside with his froggy friends, a point I conceded, so I let him go in our flower garden. I made Gina promise that if we found a frog in late September, she'd have to let me keep it. I'd like to help at least one frog get through the freezing winters!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Effigia...Again!



Well, I must really like Effigia, because I keep drawing the damn thing. There's a reason for that, though. Effigia okeefae is one of the creatures in the ensuing Archosauria art show. Thus, this newest draft. It is measured, and superficially similar to the last attempt, but one striking difference does present itself: integument. Effigia is usually drawn with fairly smooth skin, much like a dinosaur. Of course, the little beastie is a crurotarsian (a poposaur, in fact, close to Arizonasaurus), so I would expect it to be covered in scales and scutes. I don't think that the type specimen had any bony scutes or armor plating, but that doesn't rule out lighter keratinous scutes.

So tell me what you think, dear readers. I may have gone a little overboard with the scutes 'n' scales (it was an irritating process).

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Taxonomy is, on Occasion, Frustrating


Here's a question for you: See the picture on the left? That's the famous marine ground-sloth, Thalassocnus. As you can see, the genus is split into five distinct species, T. antiquus, T. natans, T. littoralis, T. carolomartini, and T. yaucensis. If they were dinosaurs, most of these species would probably be given distinct generic names. In paleomammology, it seems that authors are far more reluctant to separate animals at the genus level, even when the various species within that genus are irritatingly disparate. This may be because of another hallmark of mammalian paleontology that I find infuriating: In one of the three or four papers I have on aquatic sloths, the author(s) toy with the idea of separating some of the sloths at the generic level, but decide against it, concluding that the five creatures form a linear progression from semi-aquatic sloth to more fully-aquatic sloth. As in one population simply replaces another.

That thinking is carried over dog evolution, too. I'm reading a great book right now called Dogs: Their Fossils Relatives and Evolutionary History. My only knock against it is that the author continually posits that a known form of ancient dog (like Hesperocyon) simply "gave rise" to another dog, which in turn evolved into yet another form. In the discussion on borophagines in particular, the idea of succession is hammered into the reader's head. Paleoanthropologists used to have this idea about hominid evolution. Remember when there were only two hominid genera, Australopithecus and Homo? Now things have gotten a little better, with Paranthropus, and Ardipithecus added to the mix. Each distinct genus, however, is packed with several species. Homo consists of at least five, Australopithecus includes four or five, and even Ardipithecus, which is known from scrappy remains, consists of two species.

In mammal taxonomy, it seems like generic distinctions are tied either to chronology or some debatable "breakthrough" feature within a particular lineage. For example, very little differentiates H. habilus from the later australopithecines except for circumstantial evidence of tool usage. And even tool usage is shakey ground for a new genus name--chimps, gorillas, and orangs all use tools to some degree, and I'm sure australopithecines did, too. I read back in college about an anthropologist who wanted humans to share the same genus as chimps. We'd just be called Pan sapiens. Seriously? There are enormous morphological differences, both skeletal and otherwise, between me and Cheetah. Luckily, this thinking has not flown with the scientific community.

Things get even more bizarre when you think about modern mammals. The Indian and African elephants are generically separate (Elephas and Loxodonta, respectively). In a few million years, when future paleontologists are digging up their bones, will they be considered similar enough to warrant unification under one genus? Better yet, rather than dividing up the numerous populations of Indian and African elephants into distinct species, they are merely given subspecies variations. The savanna African elephant is L. africana africana while the forest elephant is E. africana cyclotis. Even better? One of the closest extinct relatives of the modern elephant, the mammoth, comprises of one genus and up to eleven species, based mainly on where they lived.

None of this would be tolerated in dinosaur taxonomy. Virtually every bone that comes out of the ground is given, at the very least, a new species designation. More often, you get a new genus, but this is often based on how complete the material is. While mammal taxonomy might be a case of under-splitting, dinosaur taxonomy seems over-split. Arguments about as to whether the European species of Allosaurus is a new species or an old species. If Allosaurus was a mammal, it would probably be considered a different subspecies. The mind boggles. I was blown away when Microraptor gui, Microraptor zhaoianus, and Cryptovolans pauli were theorized as being synonymous (Senter, et al. 2004), an idea that has continued to hold sway. "Dave," a juvenile sinornithosaurine dromaeosaur from China, has not yet been officially given a taxonomic name, even though it's pretty clear that the little bugger is a juvenile Sinornithosaurus. But what species is it? Liu, et al., in 2004, named a new species (S. haoiana) based on differences in the skull and pelvis. YARG!

How would mammalian taxonomy deal with a group like tyrannosaurs, where each animal seems to represent its own distinct place in the family? There isn't really a lot of "progression" with tyrannosaurs. You've got the basal forms, like Dilong and Guanlong, sure, but after that things tend to go to hell. Asian alectrosaurs are wholly different than, say, Alioramus or Appalachiosaurus. And those basal forms are, themselves, quite distinct from the albertosaurines and tyrannosaurines. And where does Eotyrannus fit in? Heck, what about Tarbosaurus, which could either be a sister taxa to Tyrannosaurus or the ultimate Asian tyrannosaurine that evolved in parallel to the North American tyrannosaurini from some Alioramus-like ancestor?

Is the mammalian fossil record that much more complete that we can point to Hesperocyon and say, "Okay, this was the direct ancestor of Osbornodon?" That just seems ridiculous! And even within Osbornodon, there are different species, including O. fricki, O. iamonensis, and O. sesnoni. And the ones in the middle are considered transitional between the earliest and the latest, as though a smooth progression from one end of Osbornodon to the other occurred! It's maddenning!

As Scott Elyard has reminded me on many occasions, fossil ancestry can never actually be known. The best we can hope for is to find a sister-group relationship between any two animals. You cannot point to Daspletosaurus and call it the ancestor of Tyrannosaurus. Instead, the two are sister groups, both born from some unknown common ancestor.

And that brings me back to Thalassocnus, the marine ground sloth. Maybe those different species occur in a fairly linear progression through time, one seemingly replacing the other, but that can never be known. Look, let's pretend that Dromaeosaurus, Velociraptor, Deinonychus, and Utahraptor are all called Velociraptor. For fun. V. albertensis, V. mongolensis, V. antirrhoppus, and V. ostrommaysi. Much as we'd like to, we can't say that one just evolved into the next, which evolved into the next, which evolved into the "pinnacle" of Velociraptor.

The best we can do is create a long tree, like this (I don't have a scanner at my side):

V. albertensis + (V. mongolensis + (V. antirrhoppus + V. ostrommaysi)

And each new step would require its own specific name. The most inclusive group might be Velociraptoria, the next step up might be Velociraptoridae, and the most inclusive group, comprising of V. antirrhoppus and V. ostrommaysi, might be the Velociraptorinae. But it's not a "line of descent," it's a branching bush with unknown common ancestors.

So that's what I don't understand about mammal taxonomy. And that's my rant for the day. :-)

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Lindworm!


Lindworms are flightless dragons which have further lost their hind limbs. At left is Lindwyrmus nychognathus, a large arboreal lindworm from Argentina. We'll be covering it soon, after we finish the wyverns and a recently-discovered dragon (a new member of the Dracolympidae). The last third of the dragons/wyverns series will be problematic taxa, which Lindwyrmus most certainly is.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Blogobituary

It would seem that my friend Jeff, better known as the Blue Collar Scientist, has passed away after battling a mysterious cancer. His blog will continue to appear on my blogroll for all to see and remember. My thoughts to out to Jeff's family and friends.

And now may as well be as good a time to announce this as any: When he told Scott Elyard and I of his diagnosis, Jeff asked that we take up the Anchorage Skeptics mantle. It is a position we happily accepted. The Skeptics will not go quietly into that good night! Fear not--among other plans, an Alaska Museum of Natural History tour is in the works. Fellow Anchorage Skeptics, keep an eye out for emails. I'm sad to say that Jeff had planned on attending the meeting, which is tentatively scheduled for mid-August.

Explain something to me.


This post is not meant to be some self-righteous, morally authoritative rant. Do not take it that way. I am genuinely curious about human motivation here.

So, I'm wondering about drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. I honestly don't care if people use drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. I don't, and that's my own choice. I have my own reasons, and the biggest one is: It's just not healthy. Even red wine, which contains a heart-healthy chemical called resveratrol, is ultimately worse for your health than simply eating synthesized resveratrol (which is being developed as we speak).

So here's my question: With all the well-known health risks associated with cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs, why do people voluntarily use them? This is not a question of "Why would you DO that?" But rather, "WHY would you do that?" I'm trying to discover the motivation behind it. And, as a secondary question: If there are some, even fleeting, benefits from cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs, are those benefits simply unavailable from alternative, perhaps healthier sources?